Healthy Living Reality

Author: Natalie

  • Stress-Free Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Whole Grains at Lunch

    Stress-Free Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Whole Grains at Lunch

    We talked recently about the benefits of whole grains, and the fact that American kids are falling short of recommendations for whole grain consumption. The last blog post was about increasing whole grains at breakfast. Now it’s time to talk about whole grains at lunch!

    To make sure your children get at least half of their grains from whole grain sources, which is the recommendation, you’ll need to add whole grains to the rest of their day. Here are 10 stress-free ways to add whole grains to lunch. Each meal has 350-450 calories, is high in fiber, and has at least 15 grams of protein. Many of these options are portable and suitable for lunch at school.

    1. PB&J Sandwich 

    Peanut butter and jelly is inexpensive, easy, kid-friendly, and now…it’s healthy! Swap whole-grain bread for white bread, and use fruit instead of sugar-laden jelly. Another option is to use sugar-free jam or make your own fruit spread with mashed banana or cooked berries.

    430 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of protein

    What’s in it: Sandwich with 2 slices of whole-wheat bread, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, and 2 tablespoons of mashed banana, plus a string cheese stick, baby carrots or grape tomatoes, and a tangerine

    Pro Tip: Use almond butter if peanuts are banned, or chickpea butter for a peanut and nut-free environment. For a fun twist, swap the bread for a whole-wheat English muffin or a whole-grain tortilla. 

    2. Pita Crisps with Hummus

    Brush whole-grain pita with olive oil, sprinkle it with salt, and toast it. Break it into pieces for easy dipping. Fill out the lunch with a container of yogurt, baby carrots, and some fruit. 

    450 calories, 8 grams of fiber, 20 grams of protein

    What’s in it: ½ large whole-grain pita, 2 teaspoons of olive oil, ¼ cup hummus, ¾ cup of Greek yogurt, baby carrots, ½ apple

    Pro Tip: If the flavors in store bought hummus are too strong for your children, try making your own by blending canned garbanzo beans with olive oil or tahini. If they don’t like garbanzo beans, they can dip pita crisps into peanut butter, cottage cheese, guacamole, or bean dip. 

    3. Burrito Wedges

    Bean and cheese burritos are simple and nutritious. To make burrito wedges, spread a tortilla with beans, add cheese, and top with another tortilla. Cut into quarters, sixths, or eighths. Use canned fat-free refried beans for kids who don’t like the texture of black or pinto beans. Kids with more sophisticated tastes may enjoy a spoonful of salsa mixed into their beans. 

    300 calories, 7 grams of fiber, 16 grams of protein

    What’s in it: 2 small whole-grain flour tortillas, ¼ cup of refried beans, 2 slices of low-fat American or cheddar cheese

    Pro Tip: To make sure the burrito stays intact, only add a small amount of fillings. Otherwise, the burrito may become too messy for small children to handle, especially at school. Use American cheese slices or low-fat cheddar slices instead of shredded cheese to make the burrito less messy. 

    4. Quesadilla

    Quesadillas can be high in fiber and protein.

    Quesadillas can be a good option for fussier kids who aren’t fond of burritos. They have simple ingredients that kids are used to, and many kids love the textures of the crisp tortilla and melted cheese. If your children will allow, put some spinach, thinly sliced zucchini, sliced mushrooms, or thin slices of tomatoes in the quesadilla. Another way to add vegetables is to spread a layer of mashed peas on one of the tortillas before topping it with cheese. Fill out the lunch with some fruit. 

    450 calories, 9 grams of fiber, 21 grams of protein

    What’s in it: 2 soft taco-sized whole-wheat flour tortillas, 1-2 ounces of low-fat shredded jack, cheddar, or mozzarella cheese, ½ cup of vegetables, and a side of fresh fruit

    Pro Tip: Turn it into a fun dipping experience by cutting the quesadilla into strips. Kids may enjoy guacamole, ketchup, or ranch dip. For kids who like more familiar flavors, try a pizza quesadilla with mozzarella cheese, and tomato sauce for dipping.

    5. Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

    This classic comfort combo offers opportunities for whole grains, calcium, protein, and vegetables. Instead of frying the bread in butter, toast the bread with cheese before closing the sandwich to serve. Read the label when choosing a can of tomato soup. Added sugar content can vary widely, so choose a brand with a lower amount. Also check the list of ingredients to make sure that tomatoes or tomato sauce is listed first. 

    450 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 19 grams of protein

    What’s in it: 2 slices of whole-wheat bread, 2 slices of low-fat American singles, 12 ounces of tomato soup

    Pro Tip: Any type of cheese is fine. If you’re using American singles, check the label to make sure it’s made with real cheese, and not just oil and starch. The nutrition facts panel should  show protein and calcium, and the ingredients should include milk or cheese.

    6. Whole-Grain Mini Pizzas

    Buy a whole-grain pizza crust to top, or make mini pizzas on whole-wheat bread or whole-grain English muffin
    or bagel halves.

    Kids like pizza! Give them what they love in a healthy form that adds whole grains and nutrients to their day. Whole-grain English muffin halves, whole-grain bagel halves, and sliced wheat bread are all good choices. Offer plenty of toppings like peppers, olives, and pineapple, and let kids make their own pizza. 

    420 calories, 8 grams of fiber, 18 grams of protein

    What’s in it: 1 whole-grain English muffin, 1 ½ ounces of shredded low-fat cheese, ½ cup of tomato sauce, 1 piece of fruit on the side

    Pro Tip: For a fun DIY pizza experience for lunch home, serve whole-wheat crackers, shredded low-fat cheese, turkey or meatless pepperoni, and a small bowl of tomato sauce. Let your kids assemble their cracker pizzas on their own. For a lunch box version, cut cheese slices into quarters instead of sending shredded cheese. 

    7. Whole-Grain Turkey and Cheese Sandwich

    Try a turkey and cheese sandwich, or cut wraps into pinwheels for a more fun presentation for kids.

    Sandwiches are classic lunch fare at school, especially since they’re finger foods and familiar. Add turkey, cheese, and any of your child’s favorite vegetables, such as shredded carrots or cucumber, sliced tomato, or cooked bell peppers. For creaminess, add low-fat cream cheese.

    Description

    400 calories, 7 grams of fiber, 20 grams of protein

    What’s in it: 2 slices of whole-wheat bread, 2 ounces of lean, nitrate-free turkey, 1 slice of low-fat cheese, ½ cup of vegetables, 1 tablespoon of low-fat cream cheese

    Pro Tip: For a change in pace, turn it into a wrap by using a whole-wheat tortilla, or a pita pocket with half of a large whole-grain pita bread. 
    Hopefully these ideas help your kids – and you – get more whole grains into your daily lunch routine. Check out our breakfast ideas with whole grains, and stay tuned for dinner and snack ideas to come!

  • 10 Stress-Free Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Whole Grains at Breakfast

    10 Stress-Free Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Whole Grains at Breakfast

    We talked recently about kids falling short of recommendations for whole grain consumption even though whole grains are so healthy. Now it’s time to look at ways to increase whole grain consumption without adding stress to your life. It’s actually not hard! 

    Whole grains are easy to find and relatively affordable. You can often use them in place of your regular refined grains, and you can usually prepare them just like you would normally prepare a refined grain. Best of all for parents is that they often taste just like refined grains. 

    Let’s start with breakfast. Here are 10 ways to add whole grains to your children’s breakfast routines without stress. Each suggestion has about 350-400 calories, 5-10 grams of fiber, 15 or more grams of protein, and a tip for making it even more family-friendly.

    Stay tuned for the next blog, in which we’ll have 10 ways to add whole grains to lunch and dinner. Good news: you may find yourself eating more whole grains, too. 

    1. Peanut Butter and “Jelly” Oatmeal

    Oatmeal is easy to make and a great go-to for a healthy breakfast. Use rolled oats or instant oats. For an easier clean-up compared to cooking oatmeal in a pan, pour boiling water in a bowl over the oats, let them sit, and then serve. 

    400 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 16 grams of protein

    What’s in it: ½ cup of dry rolled oats, ¾ cup of milk, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, ½-¾ cup of sliced strawberries or grapes

    Pro Tip: For more of a “jelly-like” experience, cook fruit before stirring it in. Try stewed chopped pear, diced apples stewed with cinnamon, or strawberries or blueberries cooked into a sauce.

    2. Colorful Overnight Oats

    Overnight oats are even quicker than regular oatmeal. Oatmeal softens overnight for a perfectly delicious morning breakfast. Layer the ingredients in single-serving bowls, and refrigerate the oatmeal until the morning. For breakfast on-the-go for grown-ups, make your own overnight oats in a container with a leakproof lid. Grab and go in the morning on the way to school drop-off and work!

    400 calories, 8 grams of fiber, 18 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: ½ cup of dry rolled oats, ½ cup of Greek yogurt, ¼ cup of skim milk, ½ ounce of nuts like chopped walnuts, sliced almonds, or chopped peanuts, ½ cup of berries

    Pro Tip: Use colorful fruit like strawberries, blueberries, kiwi slices, and peach or mango slices for a kid-friendly look. 

    Cottage cheese or yogurt, whole-grain oats or cereal, and any type of fruit can make a beautiful and nutritious breakfast.

    3. Whole-Grain Waffles

    Take advantage of ready-made foods and your freezer to improve your children’s nutrition at breakfast. Whole-grain waffles are fun for kids, and nearly effortless for parents. For a finger food, serve the yogurt separately in a bowl, slice the waffles into strips, and let your kids dip their waffle sticks into the yogurt.

    400 calories, 7 grams of fiber, 19 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: 2 whole-grain waffles, ¾ cup of plain or low-sugar vanilla Greek yogurt, and 1 sliced banana or ¾ cup of any fruit like peach slices

    Pro Tip: Change the flavor profile by skipping the yogurt, and instead toasting 1-2 ounces of low-fat shredded cheddar cheese on the waffles. It’ll still be high in protein. 

    Waffles are easy, delicious, and potentially healthy! Add fruit and yogurt or peanut butter for a nutritious breakfast.

    4. Egg and Cheese English Muffins

    Choose whole-grain, high-fiber, or whole-grain multigrain English muffins. Another option is a whole-grain bagel or mini bagel, or even whole-wheat toast. Serve it cold or hot from the toaster oven. You can also make batches and freeze them for instant breakfasts when you need them.

    350 calories, 5 grams of fiber, 20 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: A whole-grain English muffin, 1-2 slices of low-fat American cheese, 1 cooked egg

    Pro Tip: Add a meatless breakfast sausage for extra protein and fiber. For a more fast food-like sandwich, offer your kids ketchup – but if your kids aren’t the neatest of eaters, consider saving ketchup for weekends or other days when there’s more time to clean up. 

    5. Whole-Grain Breakfast Quesadilla

    A whole-grain breakfast quesadilla is even better than a regular quesadilla because of hearty whole grains and the addition of an egg. Choose low-fat cheese for less saturated fat and more protein.

    400 calories, 5 grams of fiber, 20 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: 2 soft taco-sized tortillas, 2 ounces of shredded low-fat jack or cheddar cheese, and 1 scrambled egg. 

    Pro Tip: For healthy fats and creaminess, spread the tortilla with a layer of mashed ripe avocado before toasting it. Or, cut the quesadilla into strips or wedges, and let your kids dip them into ketchup, salsa, or guacamole. 

    6. Cottage Cheese with Peanut Butter Toast and Fruit

    Boring? No! Many kids love simple foods that are served separately. Plate the items nicely, or put them in small bowls for kids to feel like the components are easier to eat. Swap yogurt for cottage cheese if your kids prefer. 

    380 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 20 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: ½ cup of low-fat cottage cheese, 1 slice of whole-grain toast, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, 1 banana or other fruit

    Pro Tip: Get your children to buy into it by letting them choose toppings like blueberries, sunflower seeds, or mini chocolate chips.

    7. Whole-Grain Bagel with Cream Cheese and Turkey

    This simple sandwich is easy and well-loved. Use low-fat cream cheese and nitrate-free turkey slices. Serve the bagel thin with grapes or other fruit. 

    400 calories, 5 grams of fiber, 14 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: 1 whole-wheat bagel, 2 tablespoons of low-fat cream cheese, 1 ounce of turkey breast, and 1 cup of grapes

    Pro Tip: Let kids who are old enough press the sandwich with a waffle iron or panini maker. For a meltier sandwich, use sliced cheese instead of cream cheese.

    8. Quinoa Breakfast Bowl 

    Quinoa may sound grown-up, but kids can enjoy it, too. Add quinoa, egg, sliced almonds, and fruit to the bowl. 

    400 calories, 7 grams of fiber, 14 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: 1 cooked egg, ½ ounce sliced almonds, ¾ cup cooked quinoa, ½ cup fresh fruit

    Pro Tip: If they’re not crazy about trying quinoa, give kids whole-wheat pasta or cooked oatmeal instead. They’ll still get whole-grain goodness, and you can enjoy a low-stress meal. Serve a plant-based version for dinner by swapping the egg for ½ cup of black beans. For another high-protein option, add 3 ounces of cooked cubed chicken breast or ground turkey.

    9. Oatmeal Pancake Breakfast

    Save this breakfast for a relaxed weekend, or make extra pancakes to refrigerate or freeze. Reheat them when you need them. Keep the pancakes plain, or add sliced banana when cooking. Your kids can also top them with fun items like mini chocolate chips or sprinkles. 

    400 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of protein 

    What’s in it: For 4 servings of pancakes, soak ½ cup of oatmeal in ½ cup of warm milk, then mix it with 2 beaten eggs, ½ cup of whole-grain flour, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, ½ teaspoon of salt, and another ½ cup of milk. Serve pancakes with an egg or cottage cheese plus fresh fruit. 

    Pro Tip: For an on-the-go breakfast or an alternative to a breakfast platter, make sandwiches using pancakes instead of bread. Add peanut butter, cheese, or low-fat cream cheese. 

    10. Cereal, Banana, and Milk

    400 calories, grams of fiber, grams of protein 

    A healthy breakfast with whole grains can be really simple. Pour cereal into a bowl. Add a sliced banana. Pour milk over it. Serve. Choose a cereal that says, “100% whole grains” on the box. Look for a version with less than 4 grams of sugar per serving. Low-sugar, high-protein whole-grain granola or cereal can be a good choice, too. Choose skim milk or unsweetened soy milk to add protein; almond milk doesn’t have much.

    What’s in it: 1 ½ ounces of whole-grain, low-sugar cereal (like 1 ½ cups of plain Oat O’s, ¾ cup of shredded wheat bites, or ¾-1 cup of bran flakes), 1 sliced banana, 1 cup of skim milk

    Pro Tip: Instead of milk, try it with ½ cup of low-fat cottage cheese or 1 cup of plain non-fat yogurt.

    How do you get your children to start the day with a whole grain? Share your tips, and stay tuned for lunch and dinner whole-grain tips!

  • Most Kids Aren’t Eating Enough Whole Grains — Here’s Why It’s Important and What You Can Do

    Ready to give your kids a good start in life? Choose more whole grains! Most kids aren’t getting enough, which means they’re losing out on a variety of nutrients and health benefits. Thankfully, it’s easy to give them more whole grains. Here’s why they’re important, and how you can get more into your home. 

    What’s a Whole Grain?

    Grains grow in kernels. A whole grain retains all three parts of the natural kernel: the bran, germ, and endosperm. The bran has fiber and B vitamins. The germ has vitamin E, healthy fats, and some minerals. The endosperm has starchy carbohydrates. 

    Swap chips for popcorn for health and weight benefits. Popcorn is a fun snack for kids, too!

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    While whole grains have all three parts, refined grains only retain the endosperm. The bran and germ are stripped away during processing. That means whole grains have more natural nutrients. Though most refined grains are fortified with iron and some B vitamins, whole grains have a wider variety of natural nutrients. 

    Here are examples of whole and refined grains.

    Whole Grains vs. Refined Grains
    Whole Grains Refined Grains
    • Oatmeal
    • Whole-grain cereal
    • Whole-wheat bread
    • Whole-grain crackers
    • Brown rice
    • Whole-grain pasta (whole-wheat or brown rice)
    • Quinoa, barley, bulgur
    • White bread and crackers
    • White pasta and rice
    • Refined cereal
    • Farina (cream of wheat)

    Why Whole Grains Matter for Kids

    Whole grains are a great source of fuel, or energy, for growing kids, but they are more than calories in the form of starchy carbohydrates. They’re sources of essential and beneficial nutrients, and they’re linked to short-term and long-term benefits for weight and health. 

    Essential Nutrients in Whole Grains

    Whole grains are natural sources of dietary fiber, vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats. Most Americans are low in fiber, but it’s linked to better digestive health, weight management, blood sugar control, cholesterol levels, and heart health. 

    Here are a few of the essential nutrients in whole grains. 

    • Alpha-linoleic acid, an omega-6 fatty acid
    • Vitamins: thiamin (B1), riboflavin (B2), niacin (B3), pantothenic acid, vitamin B6
    • Minerals: copper, iron, selenium, magnesium

    More Nutrients in Whole Grains

    Like fruits and vegetables, whole grains have antioxidants and other phytonutrients, or “plant nutrients,” that aren’t on the standard list of essential vitamins and minerals. Some phytonutrients in whole grains probably haven’t even been discovered yet! That’s an even better reason to opt for whole grains regularly; a refined grain or multivitamin and mineral supplement can’t provide all of the potentially beneficial components in whole grains.

    It’s easy to add whole grains when you start the day with oatmeal. Add fruit and nuts for a balanced breakfast.

    Weight Benefits of Whole Grains

    Low-carb diets may be popular, but keep reading before you keep grains away from your kids! Scientific evidence shows that people who regularly consume whole grains are more likely to have better weight control over time. 

    Researchers have found these relationships between whole grain consumption and body weight.

    • The potential for more weight loss in children who are overweight 
    • Increased weight loss in the long-term among adults who are overweight and in weight loss programs
    • Lower BMI (body mass index) in adults over time
    • Lower risk for overweight and obesity 
    • Lower risk for overweight babies among mothers with gestational diabetes who consume more whole grains during pregnancy
    Try making sandwiches with whole-grain bread, or make them half whole-grain and half white for fussier kids.

    Fiber in whole grains may be partly responsible for these benefits. Fiber is considered a filling nutrient because it slows the emptying of food from the stomach, so you feel full for longer after a meal. Plus, fiber helps reduce blood sugar fluctuations and sudden, severe hunger. 

    Whole grains can help with weight control by providing stable energy, which allows for more active play. In addition, balanced meals with whole grains can lead to more balanced energy intake.

    More Health Benefits of Whole Grains

    Decades of research point to health benefits of whole grains. People who eat more whole grains have a lower risk for:

    • Chronic inflammation
    • Colorectal cancer
    • Type 2 diabetes, prediabetes, and insulin resistance
    • Heart disease
    • Cognitive decline and memory loss during aging

    If you’re ready to arm your children to fight these and other chronic conditions, see how you can help them eat more whole grains. 

    Here’s How Far Short Kids Fall in Whole Grain Consumption

    Whole grains seem to have clear benefits, but American children fall sadly short of recommendations. The Dietary Guidelines suggest making at least half of all grain servings whole grains. For most kids, that works out to 3-5 daily 1-ounce servings of whole grains. 

    More than 1 in 3 children don’t eat whole grains on a given day. The average child consumes only 1 serving of whole grains a day. To add to the challenge, most adults don’t eat enough whole grains, either. That means kids aren’t learning this healthy habit from their parents.

    Quick and Easy Ways to Choose Whole Grains

    It’s probably easier than you think to get your kids to eat more whole grains. They’re inexpensive and widely available. They’re also easy to use; in most cases, just swap your regular refined grain for a whole grain counterpart. 

    Here are some examples. 

    • Make sandwiches on whole-wheat bread instead of white
    • Stuff whole-grain pita or tortillas instead of white pita or white flour tortillas
    • Serve whole-wheat pasta with sauce instead of white pasta
    • Steam or stir fry brown rice instead of white
    • Pop popcorn for snacks instead of serving chips

    Stay tuned for easy ways to choose whole grains, with simple tips and recipes. 

    How do you get your kids to eat whole grains?

  • How Much Halloween Candy Is Okay for Kids — and How to Handle the Leftovers Peacefully

    Halloween is a favorite night for many kids. It’s full of magic, from Halloween parties and school parades in costume to after-dark escapades around dark, decorated neighborhoods for trick-or-treating. It’s exciting to see how much of their favorite types of candy they can collect, but what happens to the buckets and mountains of candy when the evening is over? 

    A few treats are fine, especially when they come after months of anticipation and the feeling of “earning” them by trick-or-treating. What’s not okay is an excessive amount of candy for too long, leading to risk for weight gain, sugar highs and lows, tooth decay, and displacement of more nutritious foods. Here’s a take on how much Halloween candy is okay, and what you can do with the rest without experiencing World War III against the children in your household. 

    Why Set Limits on Candy Consumption?

    On the whole, candy is high in sugar, and low in nutrients. It may also be high in calories and saturated fat. Sugar consumption is linked to higher risk for obesity, type 2 diabetes, and high triglycerides and a risk for heart disease. Tooth decay is another problem linked to candy consumption. 

    It’s not just that candy has sugar and possibly unhealthy fats. In addition, when kids eat candy for snacks, they may be displacing healthier snacks like these. 

    • Fresh or dried fruit, which has fiber, antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals
    • Nuts or peanut butter, with healthy fats, fiber, and protein
    • Popcorn or rice cakes, with whole grains
    • Yogurt or string cheese, with calcium and protein

    They can even fill up on candy before meals, making them less likely to eat their vegetables and lean proteins like chicken.

    How Much Candy Is Okay for Kids?

    It’s fun to gather buckets or piles of candy on Halloween night, but it’s best to shift your mindset when it comes to actually consuming candy. Your children, and maybe even you, may have had more candy on Halloween Eve than you care to admit, but it’s time to face reality on November 1. 

    A portion of about 80 to 150 calories may be a reasonable amount of candy for a day. That’s assuming the rest of the day relies on healthy foods like vegetables, lean protein, whole grains, and fruit. 

    Here’s what 80-100 calories looks like in terms of candy.

    • A fun-size chocolate bar like Snickers, Milky Way, Kit Kat, or Twix
    • A fun-size package of Skittles or M&Ms

    Here’s what 120-150 calories looks like in terms of candy.

    • 2 Reese’s peanut butter cups
    • A fun-size 1000 Grand or Baby Ruth
    • A small bag of Starbursts
    • 5 mallow pumpkins
    Beautiful, tasty, and totally devoid of nutrients, candy is best as an occasional treat.

    The American Heart Association (AHA) suggests keeping adding sugars to no more than 25 grams a day. That’s about the amount in 3 fun-sized 3-Musketeers bars. 

    Here are some tips for healthier patterns for candy consumption.

    • Sit down and enjoy it together.
    • Encourage a mindful experience by talking about the flavors and textures of the candy.
    • Let your children choose the one they want to enjoy. 
    • If they want two different candies, let them have half of each instead of making them choose just one or letting them have all of both. 
    • Drink some water with the candy, or serve some fruit or yogurt to reduce blood sugar spikes and make it more filling. 

    Both kids and adults can benefit from storing candy out of sight and out of reach. It’s easier to avoid impulse eating.

    Whatever amount you decide on, present it to your children as fact. It’s non-negotiable. 

    What to Do with Extra Candy

    It can feel sad to give away Halloween candy. It may feel personal when your kids have “hand-gathered” it from neighbors and friends. It may also feel like you’re saying goodbye for another year to a fun holiday. But be assured that your candy can go to good purposes. 

    Donate Extra Candy

    Most schools collect leftover candy for a few days or a week after Halloween. They may pass it on to schools in needier neighborhoods, or they may partner with local food banks or charities. You can also donate it directly to food banks, charities for veterans or current active troops, community centers, nursing homes, or charities. 

    Create a Buyback Program

    Some cities host “buyback” programs in which they give money in exchange for owners to give up their illegal firearms or fireworks. Consider turning Halloween into an educational experience with an arithmetic lesson. 

    Attach a certain value to each type of candy, say, 5 cents for a hard candy or gum ball, 25 cents for a fun-sized chocolate bar, or 50 cents for a full-size bag of M&Ms. Spend time with your children taking inventory of each piece of candy and how much it’s worth. Then add up the total value, give your children that much money, and collect the candy they just “sold” to you.

    Use It Wisely at Home

    There are all kinds of fun ways to use candy at home. Keep it in a designated treat jar for special occasions or treats. Use it for crafts like decorating a gingerbread house for the holidays. Bake it into treats like cookies or brownies, or make snack mixes with ingredients like pretzels, cereal, and popcorn. 

    Caution: Keeping candy at home, no matter how good your intentions are for yourself and your children, is risky. It can lead to children begging for more candy that you’ve already said “no” to. It can also lead to you eating more candy than you’d intended. 

    Real Life: Getting Your Kids to Buy In

    For many parents, the real struggle isn’t in setting the rules (e.g., how much candy). It’s in how to enforce them and how much energy they’re willing to invest. Here are some tips for making the struggle less of a struggle.

    Acknowledge your children’s perspective. They worked hard for their candy (at least, harder than they usually do for their food, which generally shows up fully prepared on their plate at the table). Also let them know that you understand how good candy tastes, how fun Halloween is, and how special the occasion is. 

    Give your children choices. They can choose which special pieces to choose. Some parents like to let them choose when to eat the 5-10 pieces of candy that kids are allowed. It can make children feel like they’re getting away with something naughty to get to eat 3 pieces of candy before breakfast. Also let them help choose what to do with the rest, such as where to donate it to and whether they want to help deliver it. 

    Stick to the rules you decide on. Kids love rules. They like struggling against them, and they like the security that comes from knowing the rules their parents created won’t change. It’s comforting.

    How do you decide how much candy your kids can have? What do you do with the rest, and how do you handle your children’s reactions? 

  • Halloween Is the Deadliest Day of the Year for Child Pedestrians — And Here’s How You Can Protect Your Trick-or-Treaters

    Halloween is an occasion that many children and adults look forward to all year with costumes, parties, trick-or-treating, and, of course, candy. There are some serious sides to the fun, and if you are responsible for children or you interact with them on Halloween, it’s a good idea to be aware so you can protect them. Child pedestrian fatalities are higher on Halloween than any other day of the year. The news is less serious when it comes to candy, since the myth about poisoned candy is just a myth. Here are some tips on traffic risks and trick-or-treaters and making sure your children’s bounty is safe.

    Child Pedestrian Fatalities Spike on Halloween

    Combine excited children in costumes, a setting sun at dusk or a dark night, rush hour, and a high proportion of drunk drivers, and you have a recipe for disaster. That’s exactly what the data show, as two to four times as many young pedestrians are killed on Halloween than on an average day. 

    Consider this sobering information.

    • 5.5 child pedestrian fatalities occur on Halloween compared to an average of 2.6 on other days.
    • Most of these incidents occur between 5 and 9 p.m., which includes rush hour, a setting sun, a dark sky, and tired drivers coming home from work.
    • Children ages 4 to 8 are at highest risk. 
    • More than two-thirds of accidents occur in unmarked areas, not at intersections or marked crosswalks.

    These numbers are scary, but there’s a lot you can do to protect children.

    Causes of Halloween Pedestrian Fatalities

    Why are child pedestrian fatalities so high on Halloween compared to other nights? One obvious reason is that there are more children walking around. This means there are more chances for car drivers to hit and kill them.

    Other causes are related to location. Children may be crossing streets between intersections and at places that are not marked crosswalks. Drivers are less likely to be watching for pedestrians, driving slowly, or preparing to stop in these locations. 

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    Look before walking and double check before stepping into the street, especially when it’s dark

    There are also factors related to Halloween, like excitement and costumes. Children can be so wrapped up in their candy-hunting endeavors, or interacting with their friends, that they may forget what they’ve learned about safety. Their excitement may also make their brains incapable of hearing you remind them to be careful or to stay out of the street. 

    Though they may officially be in a group, children may run ahead of their peers or lag behind. They may get excited and dart out into the street when nobody is expecting it, leading to greater risk. 

    Both drivers and pedestrians can face visibility problems. It’s hard to see when the sun is setting or after it’s gotten dark. Halloween costumes can also visibility barriers if they are dark, making it harder for drivers to see them. Masks can prevent children from seeing well when they look for cars before stepping into the street. 

    Take Regular and Extra Safety Precautions 

    You can protect your children with some common sense, planning, and communication. Before Halloween, go over safety rules, such as holding your hand while crossing a street and looking both ways twice before stepping off of a curb. 

    When designing a costume, remember to add some bright details. Use reflective tape, a reflective vest, or glow sticks for visibility. A flashlight or bracelet light is another option. Wear some bright items yourself. When possible, choose lighter rather than darker colors – think about ghosts and pumpkins rather than cats and witches. 

    Include bright colors on costumes to be more visible

    Keep costumes safer by avoiding masks and using face paint instead if necessary so that your children can see properly. Make sure robes, pants, and skirts are no longer than ankle-length to prevent tripping.

    When thinking about where you’ll trick-or-treat, stick to safer neighborhoods. Try to stay in well-lit areas with sidewalks. Only cross at intersections or well-marked crosswalks or pedestrian lights. Remind your children to only cross with you (or another designated adult), even if other friends are crossing on their own. Stay with your children, or have a designated adult watch them.

    Visibility is poor at night, so be extra cautious

    Plan for some check-ins if you notice that your children are getting so excited that they seem unable to hear or respond to you. You might ask them to show you some of their candy before going to the next house, or you can ask them some questions about decorations that they saw. Anything to ground them and get them back to a place where they can listen well to you can help with safety. 

    If you’re staying at home to hand out candy or other treats, first of all – thank you! Until I became a parent, I never really thought about the good-hearted millions of people who “host” Halloween for the children. There’s another way you can help: pass out candy while you remind children to be safe and careful – you never know if that one reminder might make the difference. 

    Good News: Poisoned Candy Remains a Myth

    Most Americans grow up learning that we need to only eat wrapped and sealed Halloween treats because opened items could be poisoned. Thankfully, that myth is just a myth. There are no documented instances of poisoned Halloween candy. The one potential incident that occurred in the 1970s ended up being a complicated insider situation that wasn’t related to innocent trick-or-treaters.

    Still, it’s always good to check anything your children receive on Halloween or at any other time. Make sure their candy is sealed. Only accept unwrapped or homemade treats from people whom you know and trust. 

    Inspect all candy at home before they eat it. If they’re allowed to eat candy before arriving at home, have them show you what they’re going to eat before they eat it so you can make sure it looks sealed and safe. 

    Halloween should be fun, and it can be both fun and safe if you plan well for it. Make sure costumes are bright so drivers can see children, and go over safety tips with your children. Plan to stay in well-lit areas with marked crossing zones or traffic lights, and obey all laws. Take your time, and take check-in or time-out times with your children if they need to calm down. 

    How do you make sure your Halloween is safe and fun? 

  • Sneaky Ways to Keep Your Kids Active — Even When You’re Exhausted

    Parents want the best for their children, and that means helping them with many of the same diet and exercise goals that you have. Just like adults, kids need to eat healthy and be active for long-term health, but just like with adults, it’s not always that easy to achieve recommendations. 

    Kids need exercise just like parents do, but unlike us, they’re not likely to hit the gym or go for an intentional walk. Some children are naturally active with sports or while playing with friends, while others opt for coloring, reading, or other sedentary – albeit valuable – activities in their spare time. How can you get them to be active without fuss?

    Here’s how you can get your children to be active without realizing it to help them with physical and mental health now and in the future. There are even tips for when you’re too tired to play active games with them after a long day of work, chores, parenting, and your own workout.

    Why Exercise Matters for Kids

    Benefits of exercise are for now, not just for the distant future. Physical activity helps build bone density, manage weight, and improve measures of heart health like blood pressure and cholesterol. Exercise lowers blood sugar. Diabetes may seem like a far-off, abstract concern when you’re thinking about your children, but consider this: about 1 in 5 US kids already have prediabetes, which means they’re at high risk for developing diabetes within 10 years!

    If you need more immediate benefits of kids exercising, think about improved learning, increased confidence, and better immune systems. If you’re wondering what the immediate benefits to you of getting your kids active are, remember that they’ll be happier (think: less whining and fewer tantrums) and more tired (think: easier bedtimes) when they’ve been active. 

    How Much Exercise for Kids?

    Kids age 6-17 should get at least 60 minutes per day of moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity, according to the Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans. As with adults, it doesn’t need to be a single 60-minute session in a day; kids tend to be active in fits and spurts, and that’s just fine. 

    They should also include muscle-strengthening exercises, though it doesn’t need to be pumping iron. Tug-of-war, playing on playground equipment, and doing cartwheels all count. 

    Only about 1 in 4 children meet daily activity guidelines. More than half of daily waking hours are spent sedentary, such as in front of screens. How can you help get your kids active, especially if you’re tired, they’re not naturally active, or they prefer to stay home? It’s possible to get kids active every day without a daily struggle. 

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    Rock climbing walls can help kids meet muscle-strengthening guidelines

    “Move” to a Fun Destination

    Try some sneaky bribery if you and your children both need exercise. Choose a fun destination that’s an appropriate distance away, and go there and back without a car. You might walk or jog. Your children might walk, scooter, bike, or roller skate. You’ll both get in a good amount of movement. 

    Here are some ideas for destinations. 

    • The public library – children’s rooms often have crafts and toys to amuse young people, and, of course, unlimited books. 
    • A supermarket that’s known for handing out samples or that sells a special item, like a particular snack food, that your kids love and don’t often get.
    • A farmers market that has samples of fresh fruit.
    • A dollar store.
    • A public park.
    • Your neighborhood high school – check the schedule to see if any sports teams are playing, and watch a game!

    Here are some more tips.

    • Figure about 20 minutes per mile. If the destination is 1 mile away, the round trip will be about 2 miles, or 40 minutes.
    • Agree beforehand on the “treat” at the destination, whether it’s a single item at a dollar store, a coffee beverage or doughnut for all of you to split, or one train ride at a farmers market. 
    • Choose a close enough destination so that you’re certain your kids are physically capable of the round trip. You can always expand your range. 

    Organized and Unorganized Activities for Exercise

    Organized activities can be a great option if you have the opportunity and your children enjoy them. Sports clinics and leagues are an example, as many children enjoy soccer, baseball, flag football, and basketball. Dance classes are another option, with options as varied as break dancing, ballet, jazz, tap, hip-hop, and lyrical. Each time your child goes to a practice, game, or class, you get to rest easy knowing that someone else is taking charge of their physical health for a while. 

    Here are some other options for outdoors activity that’s not organized.

    • Have sports practice, but let them do the work. Kick a ball and have them chase it, or pitch to them and have them run the bases. 
    • Organized park playdates and let kids run while with their friends. 
    • Have them find objects in the park that you name. 
    Some children can get hours of fun out of hopscotch – a simple game you can play anywhere!

    Getting Kids Active When You’re Too Tired

    How often are you too tired to move by the afternoon. It’s just you and the kids, and they need exercise! Maybe they’ve been in school all day, or with their grandparents, or sitting quietly while you worked from home…and now it’s time for you to get them active.

    It’s time for some super sneaky fun time on the couch! Well, you can sit on the couch, and your kids can get some activity in. 

    • Get a soft (indoors) ball and throw it to them, making them jump and dive for it.
    • Set up an obstacle course and time them as they go through it, then challenge them to go faster. When they start to get bored, have them rearrange the course and do it again. 
    • Have them hold pillows like “shields” and throw balls at them, but make them chase errant balls and throw them back to you. 
    • If you have a spare mattress, let them jump. Make up challenges for different types of jumps, or catching the ball while jumping. 

    It even doubles up as quality time with them!

    These strategies can help you do your best for your kids’ health while staying sane, even if you’re tired. What do you do to keep your children active every day?

  • Should You Use a Continuous Glucose Monitor Even If You Don’t Have Diabetes?

    WIth continuous glucose monitoring (CGM), you can track your blood sugar (blood glucose) all the time. It lets you see how your body responds to things like food, exercise, sleep, stress, and medications. It may reveal patterns that you can’t detect with occasional finger pricks or lab tests. 

    People with type 1 or type 2 diabetes are most likely to use CGM, but a continuous monitor can provide information to other people like those with prediabetes or people who are interested in links between blood sugar and mood, food, or other factors. Here’s what to know about CGM and how to take advantage of it if you’re trying to prevent diabetes or manage blood sugar. 

    What is Continuous Glucose Monitoring?

    Continuous glucose monitoring is another way to monitor blood sugar. It gives more information than traditional methods like fingerstick testing, which you can only do a few times a day. In contrast, a continuous glucose monitor is placed under your skin. It measures your blood sugar every 1-5 minutes, or around 300 times daily, without pricking your fingers. In contrast, people with diabetes who use traditional finger pricks to test blood sugar may need to test up to 10 times a day.

    Better glucose monitoring can be life-saving with diabetes, but what if you don’t have diabetes?

    Who Uses CGM and Why?

    Traditionally, people with type 1 diabetes use CGM to improve blood sugar control. People with type 2 diabetes, especially if you’re on insulin, are also likely to use CGM. More people are using CGM now. People with prediabetes and people who like tracking their measurements are also increasingly interested in CGM. 

    A CGM can help you with these.

    • Supporting healthy behavior changes by showing you immediate consequences of your choices like what you eat and how much you sleep
    • Creating your daily blood sugar management plan
    • Reducing the risk of severe (Level 2) hypoglycemia, which can be scary and dangerous
    • Reducing anxiety around managing blood sugar

    What You Can Learn from Using a CGM

    A CGM can provide a wealth of information.

    • A blood sugar reading every few minutes throughout the day and night
    • Alerts for high blood sugar and low blood sugar when you are out of range, which can be life-saving
    • Analysis like graphs showing your blood sugar over time
    • Trend arrows showing if your blood sugar is rising, falling, or steady at that moment, so you can make better decisions on whether and what to eat, whether or how much to exercise, and other behaviors

    With so much information, you can also be more likely to learn how specific factors may affect blood sugar. Here are some examples.

    • How specific foods may affect blood sugar differently, such as crackers versus nuts
    • Effects of portion sizes and combinations, such as a plate of pasta versus a half-plate of pasta and a half-plate of salad
    • Role of timing, such as breakfast versus a late-night snack
    • Patterns during and after exercise
    • How different activities affect blood sugar, such as light walks throughout the day versus resistance training versus high-intensity interval workouts
    • How blood sugar changes during stress, sleep deprivation, and illness

    Insurance and Self-Pay: Cost of CGM

    Insurance is likely to pay for a continuous glucose monitor if you have type 1 diabetes or you have type 2 diabetes and you are on insulin. You may also qualify if you have type 2 diabetes and are not on insulin, especially if you have low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia, frequently. Coverage usually includes the CGM and cost of the disposable sensors they use, which usually last 1-2 weeks. 

    Insurance isn’t likely to pay for CGM if you don’t have diabetes, since a CGM is a medical device for diabetes management. Self-pay options may cost about $100 per sensor and $400 for a reader or transmitter. If you’re interested, your healthcare provider may be able to help you find an option to use for a couple of weeks so you can learn how different foods, activities, and other patterns affect blood sugar. 

    Realistic Expectations and Caveats of CGM

    A CGM isn’t perfect. There’s a time delay between when the measurement is taken and when you see the value of the measurement, which means you’re seeing a value that’s a few seconds behind. It’s also important to remember that you still may need to do finger pricks when you have a CGM. A finger prick may be necessary to help calibrate the sensor or confirm a reading. 

    You may still need finger pricks with a CGM
    How does spaghetti affect blood sugar? A CGM can give insights!

    Using a CGM when you don’t have diabetes or prediabetes can be interesting, but it can also potentially lead to excessive focus on each lifestyle choice you make. Micromanaging or becoming obsessive about blood sugar can be unhealthy if it causes stress or treatment fatigue, especially without substantial physical benefits. 

    If you choose to use a CGM, be sure to do so under the supervision of a qualified healthcare professional. You may see a lot of numbers, graphs, and other information. It’s best to check with a provider to make sure you understand what the information is telling you, and what you might want to do about it. Never make changes to your medication or diabetes care plan without involving a qualified healthcare professional. 

    If you’re thinking about trying a CGM, identify why you want to. What are you hoping to get out of it? Are you willing to find out about insurance or the out-of-pocket costs? Have you thought about the risks and benefits? If you’re still interested, talk to your provider and see if it may be right for you!

  • Gratitude for the People Who Help: The Village Behind Single Parenting

    Most parents will tell you that raising children is tough. I’m no different, though I was determined not to be one of the complainers. I was also determined not to play the “single parent” card. I still try not to play it too much, but the truth is that parenting is hard, and single parenting is harder. 

    Regardless, what is also true of parenting, and likely more so of single parenting, is that there are always people stepping in to help. There are so many ways to help, and people do. Neighbors, other parents, friends, and perfect strangers have always emerged to help. I am grateful.

    Is It Okay to Accept Help?

    My parents never accepted help when they were raising me and my sister. They didn’t think it was fair to ask anyone to watch us, except for an occasional paid babysitter. Maybe it was because they were from a different generation, or maybe it is because they were more competent parents than I am.

    I have no problem asking for, and accepting, help. In return, I give help when I can. It seems natural for everyone to do what they can; it makes everyone’s lives easier.  

    Other Parents Stepping In

    I’ll pick up another parent’s child and take them to the park when it works out, or I’m happy to wait at school for a few minutes if the parent is running late or needs to run inside to talk to the child’s teacher alone. In return, I’m happy to ask for help when it seems easy for another parent to give, and when I need it. We’re all in this together. 

    The Kindness of Strangers

    Since my son was young, I’ve noticed that it would be helpful for me to have four hands, three times as much patience, and twice as much strength as I do. One time when he was about three years old, we were walking into the library. He decided he didn’t want to go anymore, and let me know that by throwing a loud tantrum. 

    While he was screaming, I took him outside and tried to calm him down. As usual, I failed miserably. After a few minutes, a librarian came out with a smile and a bookmark. She tried to distract him by showing it to him and reading it to him. She didn’t have to, but that’s the kind of kind act that I’ve received from people since my son was born. 

    Libraries serve everyone, including parents.

    People are almost always ready to help. Homeowners may smile instead of yell when my son walks on their property. Other passengers boarding a bus may hold my bags while I load my son’s bike onto the front rack. A grocery store checkout clerk smiled and calmly offered to put my groceries back on the store shelves when we had to leave before checking out due to a tantrum. A boy’s father at the park pitched my son a few baseballs for his first batting experience. These all help. 

    Neighborly Advice and a Hug

    Evenings can feel lonely. They’re the time when I’m tired and my son’s tired. We’re both at our worst of the day. He can get upset over homework, brushing teeth, and my general existence. I can get upset over homework, brushing teeth, and not having finished my work. I can’t call my parents because they’re in bed already (they’re usually in a different time zone).

    Every so often, it gets physically scary in our condo unit. He may throw a tantrum or throw things. If it seems safe, I step outside. Every so often, I bump into one of our neighbors, a single parent whose son is in college now. She understands completely, and always takes the time to give me a hug, some encouragement, and some friendly words. Since she’s been in my shoes, she must know how much it means to me. 

    Help from Old Gym Friends

    I have several friends that are on my call list. I talked about my gym friends in a recent post. Some are parents; others aren’t. They’re all willing to pick up the phone and give advice or just listen. As I mentioned before, they’re among the most kind, accepting people I know. Though I haven’t asked for several years, I know that many of them would be willing to watch my son for me or go out with us if needed. 

    Any Help Line I Can Find

    When I’m desperate and just need to talk to a friendly person, I can call a free helpline. 988, the mental health crisis line, is available 24/7 Since I’m usually crying when I call, they’re at least helpful in getting me to calm down a bit. I appreciate that they answer the phone every time, and that I’ve never had to wait more than a couple minutes on hold.

    It can help just to talk to someone

    The drawback is that they themselves don’t offer much practical advice. They seem to be more of a service to direct you to other services. In my case, most of the referrals have been irrelevant (e.g., for abused children) or impractical (e.g., a private practice located 50 miles away from our home). Still, a kind, caring voice is welcome when I’m upset and feeling alone. 

    Big Brother Big Sister Program

    One volunteer who has given my son, and therefore me, hours and hours of kindness is his Big Brother. It’s a mentorship program in which the Big takes the Little (my son) on an outing once or twice a month. They can go to parks, out to eat, to museums, to local attractions, or anything else. My son and I have lucked out with his Big – he has a kind heart, he’s interested in everything, and he makes the outings so exciting for my son. 

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    A kind mentor can be a role model and trusted advisor

    For me, it’s something to look forward to. Those few hours of alone time on a weekend are precious and valuable. I can relax, let my guard down, take a walk, get work done, or do whatever else I want with that time. The anticipation of that time is wonderful, too. 

    As you can see, lots of people help without asking for anything in return. There’s no guilt-tripping. It’s just pure kindness. I am grateful. 

    Who helps you out? How do you give back?

  • Reflections on a Week of Court Time at the Park: Enjoying Tennis whether Alone or with Others

    Reflections on a Week of Court Time at the Park: Enjoying Tennis whether Alone or with Others

    When I have time after my morning run, I try to walk to the nearby park with my basketball, tennis racket, and balls. Most mornings, I play alone, shooting hoops or hitting a tennis ball against a backboard. Twice this week, however, I played tennis on the actual court. One day, I was volleying with someone way better than me. The other day, I was the more experienced player. My week’s experiences reinforced that whether alone or against someone better or worse than me, I can enjoy myself, relax, and feel good while playing tennis. 

    Here are some benefits of being on my own, hitting against someone better than me, and hitting against a beginner. 

    Nature Is Healthy

    Research consistently suggests that being in nature is good for mental and physical health. It helps clear the mind and improve mood. Getting some daytime sunshine supports your circadian rhythm for better alertness during the day, and better sleep at night. Being outdoors to exercise also tends to encourage longer bouts of activity, leading to benefits for weight control, blood sugar management, and other improvements in chronic condition risk.

    “Nature” can be a beach, forest, field, or desolate mountain, but it doesn’t have to be. A few trees or bushes in an urban area can provide benefits, especially if the sky is visible. The important things are to get fresh air in an open or green area. 

    Playing Alone Is Therapeutic

    Most days, I play alone. I shoot a basketball on an empty court, or I hit a tennis ball against a backboard. Repetitive? Yes. Boring? No.

    Sunshine and trees give a beautiful backdrop to gather my thoughts.

    Here’s what I like about playing by myself.

    • I can practice specific skills. I can work on forehands, backhands, serves, or anything else against a backboard. I can catch the ball each time and set up my next drill. You can’t do that type of repetitive and controlled practice when you’re on a court and volleying with someone.
    • I can play left-handed. I like to play half left-handed, half right-handed. That gives both sides an equal workout, and hopefully it improves my coordination on both sides instead of just my dominant [right] side. It feels disrespectful to play left-handed when I’m playing against someone because it’s not giving them my best. 
    • I can listen. With my bluetooth ear buds, I can listen to anything on my phone. Recently, I’ve been listening to videos on YouTube for learning Turkish. I’m a kinetic learner, and I concentrate best when I’m moving. A mindless activity like hitting a ball against a wall is perfect for me to listen carefully.
    • I can socialize. I use my ear buds to talk on the phone. Playing tennis or basketball at the park often doubles up as my social hour.

    Playing alone is great, but playing with a partner has different benefits. 

    Benefits of Playing Tennis with a Hitting Partner

    Playing tennis with a partner is a different experience than playing alone. It’s less predictable – I can stand around more, and I might end up running more to chase balls. I can’t specifically practice certain skills. But there are many benefits. 

    • I learn to react faster. Against a wall, I’m in control. I know where the ball’s going and how fast, and how I’m going to hit it. Against a person, nothing is predictable. It can come to my forehand or backhand, fast or slow, with top spin or back spin. Learning to respond is something you can’t learn while playing against a backboard. You improve quickly when playing against someone.
    • It’s heart-warming. Silly as this is, it is nice to be doing an activity with someone, even if you can’t hold much of a conversation from opposite sides of a net. I feel like I belong, and share the love of playing a fun game with other people. 
    • It’s motivating. As comforting as it is to see the same players out there day after day, it’s even nicer to be one of them. They’re welcoming and warm, accepting of my poor play, and happy to offer encouragement and advice.

    Whether better than more or worse, playing with a partner has benefits. 

    You have to learn to react quickly when you’re playing against someone.

    Learning from Superiors

    I’m grateful to play with people better than me, as happened earlier this week. He and I played for nearly an hour. Here is some of what I gained.

    • Humility. Every so often, my hitting partner didn’t go easy on me, and smashed a ball past me. It reminded me to be grateful he was even playing with me!
    • Technique. I gathered a few pointers from my hitting partner, including why I wasn’t hitting my forehand very well, and how to hold the racket more properly. 
    • Patience. It’s tough to be the bad one. It’s tempting to get upset and frustrated, but that’s not helpful. It doesn’t help my own game, and it doesn’t make it more pleasant for my opponent. So, I try to smile when I mess up, and to show that I’m trying my best, even if I’m not able to return the ball all the time.
    Some people play with real tennis clothes and strong serves. I’m not one of them.

    I can learn from beginners, too!

    Playing with a Beginner

    I also had the privilege of playing with a beginner. It wasn’t painful; it was actually motivating, and it helped my own game. Here’s why.

    • I practiced control. When you’re playing with someone who can’t hit very well, it’s best to hit the ball to them and at a certain speed. That takes control, which is a skill in itself. Learning to aim and control force is applicable when you’re trying to win games, too. 
    • I learned technique. While my hitting partner had less lifetime practice than I do, she’s taking lessons, and is learning techniques. I noticed that she had a good ability to hit forehands that she had to reach for; that’s tough for me, so I asked for an explanation. 

    Balancing Solo and Partner Play for Consistency and Growth

    They say that “mixing it up” is good for your exercise routine. While “they” may be recommending more variety than the difference between playing tennis alone versus against someone, “they’re” right. Allowing my sessions at the park to be slightly different, unpredictable, and always positive makes me eager to come back each day. I let myself be obsessive about running, counting each mile and minute, but loosening up for sports at the park is a fun contrast. 

    How do you stay active and keep it fun?

  • How to Stay Consistent with Fitness: Make Friends with 80-Year-Olds at the Gym

    How to Stay Consistent with Fitness: Make Friends with 80-Year-Olds at the Gym

    I’m not a very social person. Maybe I take after my dad. I’m happy to be by myself, and I usually find it tiring to be around people. It’s been like that for me since middle school. At the same time, though, I’ve always had a group of friends around me due to exercise. In middle school, high school, and college, my friends were my teammates. In graduate school, my friends were running partners. And for a decade after that, my friends were my gym friends. 

    Here’s the story of how I met my gym friends and why they are such a special group for which I will always be grateful.

    A Lucky Meeting

    I had never been regular at a gym, though I’ve always been active. I joined a gym in 2012 to take advantage of the classes they offered, but didn’t plan to do much more than attend one or two dance or aerobics classes a week. It was a women’s gym, though that’s not why I joined. It was affordable and within biking distance, and had a good class schedule for me.

    When I had mild plantar fasciitis one day, I had to cut my run short. I headed to the gym to use the elliptical machine, and that’s when I met “them.” “They” were a group of ladies, aged about 55 to 87, who had been working out together for over 20 years. There was one “young” lady who was only 35, and who had been with them for about 5 years. 

    A Warm Welcome from the Gym Ladies

    They were the gym ladies. , and they welcomed me warmly. They let me into their “group” and introduced me to everyone. They explained the birthday protocol – each lady was responsible for bringing cupcakes to the gym on another lady’s birthday – and told me the lady for whom I was responsible, and the date of her birthday. 

    These ladies had met each other at the gym. Most of them would not have met each other anywhere else. They were a diverse group, including working and retired teachers, a bank teller, a real estate agent (who ended up selling me my home), a saleswoman, a beautician, an entertainer, a president and founder of a non-profit, and some stay-at-home moms (one of whom now works with me). There were parents of children ranging from 5 years old to 65 years old.  They inspired each other to keep showing up at the gym each morning.

    A row of dreadmills becomes less dreadful when you have friends on either side!

    I hadn’t intended to continue using the gym on a daily basis once my plantar fasciitis cleared up. I’d planned to go back to once or twice-weekly dance fitness classes. But the joy of having a whole new group of friends

    An Always Honest and Open Group!

    Though they were among the most consistent and probably fit people of their age, they never pretended that it was easy to come to the gym. The standard response to, “Good morning! How are you?” was, “I’m here.” That might expand into, “I’m doing my best,” “It’s tougher than usual today,” or, “One day at a time.” 

    But instead of that feeling negative, it felt real. We knew we were working hard to be at the gym. From scheduling the time to actually coming, it’s a real effort to work out each day. And that’s where friendship comes in. 

    A Decade Working Out with My “Gym Friends”

    We were each other’s “gym friends.” We welcomed each other, texted or phone when someone was an unexpected no-show at the gym that morning, and were completely open with each other. 

    We’d take machines next to each other whenever possible. We’d have a whole row of ellipticals, or be in smaller groups on the bikes or treadmills. It didn’t matter that a 30-something-year-old (me) was next to an 80-something-year-old. We could chat and work out together. 

    We talked about everything and nothing. What else do you talk about when you’re “stuck” on a gym machine for 30, 60, or 90 minutes? You have time to talk deeply about anything! Since it was a women’s-only gym, we felt comfortable talking loudly, often loudly enough to annoy most of the other women who were present. (In our defense, anyone was welcome to join the conversation…)

    We worked out, laughed, and helped each other at the gym and in life.

    There was no pressure put on our friendships. We accepted each other and looked forward to seeing each other at the gym. We might see one or two of each other outside of the gym occasionally, but there was no requirement. We knew we’d get to see each other at the gym the next morning to start the day off right. You could get a hug if you were down, or a hug if you needed to celebrate. We were there for each other. 

    Continued Friendships After a Decade with the Gym Ladies

    I was able to take advantage of our daily chit-chats and workouts for nearly a decade, until 2020. I learned so much from these women. They shared their wisdom with me, and I learned about acceptance, advice, support, and so many other qualities that these kind people learned through life lessons and were generous enough to share with me. I learned that very different people can benefit from being around each other and listening to each other.

    The gym closed when COVID-19 hit, and then permanently closed due to bankruptcy. By the end of COVID-19, my habits had again changed, and I’d returned to running and biking on my own, perfectly content fitness-wise. 

    But many gym friendships continued. I stay in touch with many of the ladies on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis by phone. I speak with others more sporadically. Every so often, I meet one or another of them somewhere around town, like a market, park, or home. 

    We’re all grateful for those years at the gym and for each other. Some joined new gyms after COVID-19. Others, like me, developed different habits – hikes, classes on Zoom, mall walks, park walks. Some are too old to work out daily anymore – getting to 100 years old while in shape to be self-sufficient is already terribly impressive to me! 

    I am grateful to have met this group of women. I don’t miss working out at the gym, but I do miss the daily chats. Sometimes really great things happen in life, and that gym was one of them for me.

    Which friends and lessons do you truly value?