Healthy Living Reality

Author: Natalie

  • Here’s How We Grocery Shop Without a Car

    I talked before about why I don’t own a car, and how my son and I get where we need to go. Here’s how we go grocery shopping without a car. Good news: it doesn’t involve pizza delivery, meal kits, or exorbitant grocery delivery fees! It involves delivery services and a lot of walking.

    Typical Car Ownership and Driving Habits in the US

    Many Americans may have trouble even imagining what it’s like not to own or share a car. The average household in the US has more than 2 cars. There are 0.8 cars per person, which may not sound like much until you realize that that figure includes children!

    Among drivers, there are 1.2 cars per driver! (Side question: what do people do with their extra cars when they own more than one?). People drive about 7-14 miles per day.

    These numbers are lower in certain dense urban areas on the East Coast like Boston and New York where public transportation is common and more convenient. For example, only about half of households in these cities have cars. But in many metropolitan areas, including the one in which I live, car ownership is near ubiquitous among households. 

    These figures imply that most people drive to get their groceries. Or, since about half of food dollars are spent on food prepared outside the home like at restaurants, people eat out. So how does my household get groceries? 

    Grocery Delivery

    I use Walmart Plus InHome grocery delivery service. For a single annual fee, I get the following benefits. 

    • Groceries and everything else Walmart sells at in-store prices, with no mark-up for delivery services
    • Free delivery on minimum orders of $35, with delivery windows of 9:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. or 2:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m. 
    • No need to tip the delivery person, who is a Walmart employee (not a third party driver as many delivery services use)
    • Free shipping on many items with no minimum fee. Eligible items may include non-perishable grocery items (though a limited selection), clothing, electronics, and other non-grocery items

    I find that Walmart has competitive prices on national brands, great prices on store brands, and a great selection of store brands, including many varieties and flavors analogous to what national brands offer. 

    Their produce is often good, though I regularly get bruised tomatoes and overripe bananas. Walmart occasionally makes mistakes in the orders, but they make it easy for me to ask for refunds. 

    Walking to Supermarkets

    We’re lucky to live within 2 miles of 3 different supermarkets. Within 50-70 minutes, I can walk to a store, shop, and bring back a load of groceries.

    A Local “International” Supermarket

    Most of my fruits and vegetables come from a store that’s 1.25 miles away from my home. There are about 20 locations in my general area of the country. Fruit and vegetable prices are often half the price of standard supermarkets. 

    It’s a fun place to shop because prices can change daily. You never know what great deal you’ll find, like 2-lb bags of organic cauliflower florets for $1.49 a few weeks ago. That makes it ideal for walking because I can’t carry much, so it’s easier to go frequently anyway and only purchase a little at a time. 

    The store calls itself an “international marketplace.” Many of the customers are Armenian or Russian. It’s a great place to purchase things like kalamata or other specialty olives, Bulgarian or Greek feta, and similar foods that are common in the Mediterranean countries and terribly overpriced at major supermarkets. Breads like white and whole-wheat pita and lavash are delivered fresh daily.

    This store is a great complementary option to Walmart. It fills in for fruits and vegetables that are lacking at Walmart. Conversely, it’s not the best place to buy standard packaged American items like oatmeal, peanut butter, and flour. It’s pricey and selection isn’t great. 

    Amazon Fresh Is Attractive

    Amazon Fresh has a location less than a mile from me. I don’t normally shop there much (though I wrote about how I’m currently on a free 3-month trial for their delivery service and am loving it). As for shopping in the store myself, I do appreciate it being there.

    It’s my go-to for a few things like fresh flowers when I need a gift for someone. It often has iceberg lettuce cheaper than at other places, and it does have some store-brand items and random other items at fabulous prices if you look hard enough. 

    Its real draw for me, though, is that it’s kid-friendly. That means I can walk there with my son (walking or biking). I get to take a walk, and my child is happy – that’s a true benefit! When we get there, my son gets to choose a free piece of fruit – he always chooses a banana from among the banana, tangerine, and apple offerings – and uses a kid-sized shopping cart. Sometimes, he gets a sheet of stickers. Whatever works!

    Whenever we’re out with the car, I keep my eyes open for other grocery shopping opportunities. Ralphs (Kroger), Vons (Safeway), and Trader Joes are fun destinations, but they’re not regular for us. Still, every car load helps!

  • Quick and Healthy Kid-Friendly Breakfast-for-Dinner Ideas (Numbers 1–5)

    Try “breakfast for dinner” when you want to put a smile on your children’s faces but you need something quick, easy, and healthy. Use classic breakfast components like eggs, pancakes, waffles, and even boxed cereal, but give them a twist for dinner. The following 5 meals can liven up your dinner table, and each has fiber, protein, and at least 1-2 servings of fruit or vegetables. 

    If you missed it, here are our previous healthy dinner tips for families!

    1. Pasta Frittata

    300 calories, 18 grams of protein, 4 grams of fiber

    Why it’s great: Kids can enjoy it as a finger food when you slice it, and adults can appreciate using leftover pasta and having a one-pot meal. 

    Prep tips: Use leftover cooked whole-grain pasta like spaghetti or penne. Stir it gently with beaten eggs and diced vegetables such as spinach, tomatoes, or cooked diced carrots or frozen peas. Baked in a pan until the eggs are set. Slice to serve. Add tomato sauce and parmesan cheese if desired. 

    Eggs with vegetables are already a favorite food – add pasta to make them more balanced and exciting!

    Nutritional highlights: Eggs have protein, and whole-grain pasta and vegetables have fiber.

    2. Cheesy Oatmeal

    420 calories, 12 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber

    Prep tips: Cook oatmeal as usual. Stir in a bit of milk or almond milk and some low-fat cheddar cheese just like you were making a low-fat cheese sauce for mac and cheese. Add chopped broccoli florets or peas for vegetables. Kids who like crunch may also enjoy a topping of sunflower seeds or chopped peanuts. 

    Why it’s great: Oatmeal is familiar and friendly, just like mac and cheese. This cheesy whole-grain dish is simple to make in minutes. 

    Nutritional highlights: Fiber, protein, and calcium come together without a fuss.

    3. PB and Stewed Apples on Bagel

    420 calories, 12 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber

    Prep tips: Chop or slice apples and stew them in a bit of water on the stovetop or in the microwave. Leave them plain or add cinnamon. Puree into applesauce if you prefer, or leave the apples in chunks. Spread peanut butter on whole-grain bagel halves, and top with apples. 

    Why it’s great: It’s easy, inexpensive, and guaranteed to be a hit. 

    Nutritional highlights: Enjoy a PB and ”J” sandwich with no added sugars. Whole-grain bagel, apple, and peanut butter all add fiber. 

    4. Breakfast Tacos

    270 calories, 15 grams of protein, 4 grams of fiber

    Prep tips: Scramble eggs or egg whites with spinach, diced bell peppers, or other vegetables like cut cooked green beans or grated zucchini. Spoon into whole-grain corn taco shells, and top with blueberries or other fruit.

    Why it’s great: It’s a balanced meal that offers portion control, protein, and fiber, and kids love crunchy taco shells and the fun contrast of savory tacos with sweet fruit. 

    Nutritional highlights: Vegetables add fiber, vitamin C, and potassium, while eggs provide every essential nutrient except vitamin C. 

    5. Zucchini Carrot Ribbon Pancake Wraps

    Prep tips: In a bowl, combine beaten eggs with grated zucchini and carrot, whole-wheat flour, and salt and pepper. Stir briskly to blend into a thin batter; don’t overbeat. Cook thin pancakes in a pan with cooking spray. Wrap them around shredded low-fat melted cheese, cottage cheese, or cream cheese to serve. Kids may also enjoy crunchy whole-grain cereal like plain Cheerios or shredded wheat. 

    Stuff egg-based vegetable pancakes with protein, and your kids may not realize they’re getting a healthy dinner!

    Why it’s great: Pancakes feel like breakfast, but they’re savory and fun to eat. A “side” of cereal can be an even more special treat. 

    Nutritional highlights: These pancakes have protein, vegetables, fiber, and calcium, but your kids will love them. 

    Try these recipes, and customize them your way or however your children like. Add protein with turkey or meatless sausage or bacon, ground turkey, or chicken, or swap different fruits and vegetables. Make them family favorites however you like!

    Stay tuned for more breakfast-for-dinner ideas to keep yourself sane, your children happy, and your family healthy!

  • 5 Quick and Healthy Kid-Friendly Dinners With Plenty of Protein

    Does making dinner ever feel like a struggle? If you’re anything like me, you don’t feel like cooking much, but eating out isn’t an option. Instead, it’s time for a family-friendly, nutrient-rich meal that’s appetizing for the whole family, and takes almost no effort. We already posted about family-friendly meals like healthy hot dogs and hamburgers. Here are five more dinner ideas that have protein and other nutrients for kids’ growth and development, while being right in line with grown-ups’ weight management goals. 

    English Muffin Pizzas

    2 English muffin halves with marinara sauce, shredded mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni can have about 350-400 calories and 15-20 grams of protein.

    Most kids love pizza, even when it’s a healthier version than delivery. English muffin pizzas are among the oldest tricks in the book for a quick, tasty, and healthy lunch or dinner. Add marinara sauce and low-fat shredded mozzarella cheese to whole-grain English muffin halves. Whole-grain sliced bread, whole-wheat pita, and whole-wheat tortillas are also good options.

    Some children like pizza plain. Others may prefer to add meatless or turkey pepperoni. Some may enjoy branching out a bit with items like sliced olives, diced cooked chicken, and pineapple chunks. 

    Let your kids make their own pizzas with healthy options that you provide, and you can all be happy with a balanced and easy dinner.

    For a side, serve colorful vegetables like bell pepper strips, carrot sticks, sugar snap peas, and cucumber sticks. Offer a healthy dip like hummus or light ranch dressing. Another good option is marinara sauce. It adds another serving of vegetables, and kids love it. 

    Spinach and Bean Quesadillas

    A quesadilla with a whole-wheat tortilla, low-fat shredded cheese, spinach, and black beans can have about 400-450 calories and 15-25 grams of protein

    These quesadillas are a kid favorite made healthy with whole-wheat tortillas and low-fat cheese instead of refined tortillas and full-fat cheese. Add extra protein with black beans or chicken. For grown-up tastes, tuna is another option.

    To make: top a whole-wheat tortilla with low-fat shredded mozzarella or other cheese and spinach or tomatoes. Add black beans or diced chicken if desired. Cover the tortilla with another tortilla, and toast it. Serve half of the quesadilla at once. 

    Whole-grain tortilla, low-fat cheese, and spinach leaves combine to provide a wholesome quesadilla. Add chicken, fish, or black beans for more protein.

    For vegetables, add spinach leaves or tomatoes inside the quesadillas. If your children don’t want vegetables inside the quesadilla, add a side of fresh salsa made with tomatoes, lime juice, onion, and cilantro.

    Baked Chicken Tenders

    A 3-oz portion of chicken baked with oat coating has about 250 calories and 26 grams of protein. 

    If you’re lucky, your children enjoy plain chicken. If not, it’s okay. It’s not hard to turn skinless chicken breasts or tenderloins into healthy versions of breaded chicken nuggets or tenders.

    Start with thin strips of skinless chicken,  or cut chicken into nugget-sized pieces. Dip them into beaten egg or egg white, and then into a whole-grain coating like crushed shredded wheat, instant oats, or whole-grain breadcrumbs. Before dipping the chicken, you can season the coating by mixing it with your choice of salt, pepper, parmesan cheese, or any spices or herbs you like. Place the chicken on a sprayed cookie sheet and bake it at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through.

    Coat chicken with whole grains and bake them for a more nutritious version of this kid favorite.

    Serve the chicken on whole-grain bread or rolls, or let your children eat it as a finger food with sweet potato and zucchini sticks that you bake with the chicken. 

    Chicken or Bean Taco Bar

    A taco with 2 ounces of chicken, lettuce, tomato, salsa, guacamole, and low-fat shredded cheese has about 360 calories and 29 grams of protein.

    Tacos can be great for kids and adults. 

    Here are some reasons why.

    • They are simple and versatile, so they’re easy for grown-ups to prepare and to serve.
    • They’re more manageable for kids than something larger like a burrito.
    • They’re a great DIY dish when you offer a taco bar.
    • They can be nutritious and high in protein, fiber, and healthy fats.

    With all of these benefits, a taco bar may become a regular event in your home.

    Set out appetizing ingredients like fish or chicken, lettuce or cabbage, and mango or corn, and let your children make their own healthy tacos in whole-grain shells or tortillas.

    For your bar, set out whole-grain taco shells or whole-grain corn tortillas. Whole-wheat flour tortillas work, too; select soft taco-sized tortillas for portion control. Offer toppings like chicken or beans for protein, lettuce and tomato for freshness, and salsa, guacamole, and low-fat shredded cheddar, jack, or Mexican-style cheese for flair.

    For protein, chicken is usually a hit. Try leftover shredded rotisserie chicken, or bake your own chicken, shred it, and mix it with taco seasoning or spices like cumin, chili powder, and paprika. If you and your kids prefer, offer shrimp or a mild fish like tilapia or swai. Plant-based protein ideas are black beans or fat-free refried pinto beans.

    Yellow corn is a beautiful side dish. Offer corn on the cob if it’s in season. Kids may prefer you to cut the kernels off the cob before serving it. Frozen corn works fine, too. If you opt for canned corn, choose non-creamed corn and opt for a version without added sugars. Corn is already sweet!

    For grown-up tastes and additional vegetables that aren’t starchy, try grilled peppers and onions, sauteed zucchini and yellow squash, or roasted broccoli florets. Or, just serve extra lettuce and tomatoes with some salsa. It’s a low-calorie, delicious side dish. 

    Eggy Fried Brown Rice

    A serving (¼ of a recipe) has about 300 calories, and 18 grams of protein.

    Fried rice has a blend of textures and colors. It’s easy because you can use leftover rice and frozen vegetables, and it works for vegetarians. You can have just eggs and egg whites for protein, or add chicken, tofu, shrimp, or fish if you want. Season it how your kids like – whether with soy sauce, ginger, and garlic powder, or with store-bought teriyaki sauce. 

    Use bright vegetables and familiar eggs for a nutritious dish. Swap whole-wheat spaghetti or elbows for brown rice if your children prefer pasta.

    For 4 people, scramble about 2 eggs and 6 egg whites in a pan using cooking spray or 1-2 teaspoons of olive or canola oil. Take the eggs out of the pan and set them aside. Heat another 1-2 teaspoons of olive and add a diced onion. Cook for 4-5 minutes. Add 1-2 cups of frozen or cooked vegetables like peas, diced carrots, chopped zucchini, or chopped broccoli florets. Heat, add 2-3 cups of cooked brown rice, and heat thoroughly. Add the eggs back in, and toss with seasonings like soy sauce, ginger, and garlic powder, or serve with teriyaki sauce. 

    This dish has whole grains, protein, vegetables, and healthy fats. It’s already balanced! If you’re trying to reduce carbs, use riced cauliflower instead of brown rice. For more crunch, protein, fiber, and healthy fat, add chopped peanuts or almond slices to the pan, or sprinkle them on top when serving. For a light accompaniment for grown-up appetites, serve with steamed or stir fried broccoli florets.

    These dinners are easy, versatile, and full of nutrients for kids and adults. What are your balanced and easy dinner staples?

  • Healthy Hot Dogs and Hamburgers for Kids and Parents: Quick & Family-Friendly Ideas

    Hot dogs and hamburgers are easy, quick, and kid favorites, but they can be among the least healthy choices for a family meal. Still, with a few swaps, you can make them healthier. Healthy hot dogs and burgers with high-fiber sides can be easy to make and kid-friendly. Here are tips for cutting back on saturated fat and refined carbs and adding protein and fiber, while keeping kids’ tastes buds in mind. 

    Choose a Healthier Hot Dog

    A standard beef or pork hot dog is high in saturated fat and cancer-causing nitrates. It’s not even that high in protein, with 5 grams of protein, or 10% of the daily value, in a classic wiener. Protein helps your kids grow and it helps you stay full for longer, which makes weight management easier. 

    Turkey franks are slightly better. They’re lower in saturated fat and don’t have red meat, which is linked to heart disease risk. But they’re still not great. They have cancer-causing nitrates just like beef dogs do, and they only have 5-6 grams of protein.

    For a much healthier choice, try veggie dogs. They’re free from nitrates and cholesterol, and they’re low in saturated fat. They’re also higher in protein. A jumbo veggie dog, for example, has about the same amount of calories as a beef or turkey dog, with 100 calories, but it has no nitrates, no cholesterol, and 14 grams of protein. 

    Better Burger Alternatives

    Don’t do it! A burger and fries can have over 1,000 calories, but with just a bit more effort, you can serve a nutritious, high-protein meal!

    Burgers can be higher in protein than hot dogs, but for the sake of your health and your children’s health, consider alternatives to regular beef burgers. A 4-ounce beef patty made with 85% lean ground beef has 240 calories and 6 grams of saturated fat. That’s about a quarter of the daily limit for saturated fat. Plus, red meat – even lean red meat – can increase risk for heart disease due to the way your body metabolizes it. 

    Try a lean ground turkey burger instead. Look for 90-95% lean. Keep it from being too dry by adding a bit of grated zucchini, a splash of milk, or beaten egg. A tablespoon of light mayo or a few squeeze of ketchup can also help. Be sure not to overwork the meat when you’re shaping it. 

    Here are some other alternatives to offer. 

    • Skinless chicken is a great lean option. Bake or grill it for kids who like simple foods. 
    • If your children like chicken nuggets, make healthier versions. Dip chicken tenderloin in egg whites and coat it with whole-grain cracker crumbs or breadcrumbs, oats, or almond meal. Bake it on a sprayed cookie sheet.
    • Veggie burgers. They’re fun for kids who like colors and textures. Different varieties may have garbanzo beans, black beans, yellow corn, green peas, orange carrots, quinoa, oats, and more. 

    Whole-Grain Buns and Wraps

    Why waste space and calories with a white bun when a whole-wheat bun is just as easy to come by? Both hot dog and hamburger buns are usually available in a generic or store brand version, so they’re affordable. Whole-grain tortillas can also be great choices for hot dogs. Kids get a kick out of a rolled-up hot dog. 

    Choosing a whole-grain bun is an easy way to boost whole grains and fiber. That’s important because a typical American gets less than half of the recommended amounts of whole grains and fiber, but these are linked to lower risk for obesity, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease. Remember to offer the bun toasted if your children may enjoy it more that way.

    For yourself, consider portion control. A smaller, store-brand whole-wheat hamburger bun can have about 120 calories. A national brand, larger bun can have 200 or more calories and 35 or more grams of carbohydrates. 

    If you’re going low-carb, consider a low-carb tortilla, low-carb wrap, or naked dog or burger. 

    Sneak More Nutrients into the Burger

    You’ve given your kids a great start with a whole-grain bun and lean protein for the filling, but it’s okay to push for more! If your goal is to get as much nutrition as possible into the burger and your child’s belly, here are some more ideas. 

    • Mashed or pureed ripe avocado for heart-healthy fats and a creamy texture
    • American cheese slices or a slice of another type of hard cheese for protein and calcium.
    • Meatless bacon
    Give your children enough healthy choices, and they are sure to end up with a healthy meal that they love.

    If you do opt for process cheese, just read the nutrition facts and ingredients. Look for a brand that has protein and calcium. Some varieties are made mostly with starch, and don’t have much protein.

    Healthy Toppings and Condiments

    Some children love toppings. Others prefer their food plain. A squeeze of ketchup is probably the most popular choice for kids. Grown-ups can enjoy relish, yellow mustard, dijon mustard, or spicy brown mustard for a low-calorie condiment. 

    For yourself, feel free to make a more filling burger or hot dog by piling it high with grilled onions and peppers, mushrooms cooked in a small amount of broth, or lettuce and tomato. 

    Kid-Friendly Vegetable Sides

    Instead of a hot dog and chips or a burger and fries, serve plenty of appetizing vegetables. For example, for a crunchy side, skip potato chips. Instead, cut sodium and fat, and add vegetables and nutrients  with baked kale chips. Shred kale leaves, toss them in olive oil and sea salt or parmesan cheese, and bake them on a sprayed cookie sheet. 

    Instead of French fries, try baked strips of sweet potato, zucchini, carrots, green beans, or parsnip. They’re delicious and far healthier choices than fried potatoes, and many children like these choices. 

    Colorful finger foods may be enticing enough to get your children to eat vegetables. Let them choose their favorites!

    If you need more vegetables for yourself, serve a side salad. It’s easy, filling, and low in calories. 

    Bon Appetit!

    Depending on your children’s ages and abilities, consider involving them to various degrees. Older children may be able to help you set the table and prepare some foods, like coating chicken with breadcrumbs, mashing avocado, or tossing kale with olive oil and parmesan. Children may enjoy assembling their own burger or hot dog and toppings. Even younger children may appreciate you asking how they want their burger or dog, and which sides they prefer. 

    End a meal with fresh fruit instead of a sugar-sweetened dessert, and your child may be just as happy.

    How do you get a quick, healthy lunch or dinner on the table for your whole family? How do you serve it? Please tell me your ideas!

  • Why My 8-Year-Old Has Tantrums at Home (But Acts Perfect at School)

    This is a more serious post than some. It’s about a child who’s nearly perfect outside the home, and just as imperfect inside our home. It’s about a parent (me) who doesn’t know what to do about it, and can’t stand it anymore. Here’s where things stand. 

    Preschool Meltdowns Seemed Extreme But Explicable

    Since preschool, my son has had afterschool meltdowns. It made sense back then. He’s naturally a loud child, and used to being in charge. He’s a natural leader, with tons of creativity and ideas for play. 

    He turned off those characteristics in preschool. For the first year or so, nobody there even knew he could talk, even though he didn’t stop talking at home. He told me and my parents that he “turned off his voice” at school.

    Being in school for hours must have been a lot of effort for him. Though unpleasant for me, the daily meltdowns after preschool seemed appropriate for the situation and his age. And, he usually got over them after minutes or hours. 

    A Balance of Angelic Student and Devilish Son

    But the afterschool trouble has continued. In a Jekyll and Hyde-like situation, my son remains something of a model student and even community member. He has perfect attendance for the last two years. He’s never missed an assignment. Teachers, family friends, and other parents tell me that he’s helpful and polite. “Easygoing” is another description that I commonly hear.

    After school can be a totally different story. While I do get to enjoy my son’s delightful company for weeks or even months at a time, there are many more multi-month periods when I am the object of aggression, anger, and frustration. 

    Understandable Outbursts Have Turned Excessive

    I understand that my son needs an outlet for everything that he’s holding in during the school day. He’s an active, loud child. School demands the opposite from him, so he must need to balance it out somehow. 

    I understand that it’s natural for children to give their parents their worst behavior. It’s probably a positive sign; he feels safe letting it out to me. Since I’m a single parent, he has nobody else to blame, yell at, or hit.

    But now my son is 8. He’s in third grade. Isn’t it time to stop hitting, pushing, and knocking chairs over at the slightest provocation, or even unprovoked? Today, he accidentally dropped his crayons on the floor of his room and started yelling at me for being annoying. Then he threw them away. He does things like that; it scares me because it feels like it could be a path to self-harm.

    When I joined him in his room to make his bed and help with the crayons, he pushed me into the wall (as bad luck would have it, it was a corner that was sticking out and I can feel my back and shoulder developing into injuries that may take weeks or months to heal), yelled at me for being annoying, and slammed the door as he left his room. 

    Uncontrolled anger seems cuter and more appropriate in toddlers than in third-graders.

    Side note: I called 988 crisis help line. It was my second time. They’ve been very pleasant people both times, but haven’t been able to offer relevant resources. Still, it is nice to at least have someone to call.

    When an Older Child’s Tantrums Turn Aggressive and Disruptive 

    When an older child is violent, it can lead to injury and property damage. My son is strong. He always has been. Though he only weighs about 60 pounds, for example, he can carry paving stones that I (a middle-aged, basically in-shape woman) can’t. He has the ability to hurt me, and he does. 

    When he gets worked up, it can take hours of hands-on effort to not get hurt or let things get damaged. That time is time that I can never get back. It comes from work time, family time, or leisure time.

    Chronic Anger Punctuated by Tantrums

    It’s not just tantrums that get me down, though they’re the most dramatic. It’s the days, weeks, and even months at a time that can pass without anything but negativity from him. There’s anger and rudeness. It’s not even that bad, except that there are no breaks. There can be months in which he doesn’t say or do one nice thing to me, from answering when I say good-night to acknowledging a plate of food in front of him (yes, I set the bar low).

    Though the anger isn’t as painful as injuries, it’s still exhausting. It does get me down. 

    He says everything is going great at school; the first day was “the best day ever,” and he loves his teacher. 

    Home Behavior in Children: What’s Normal, What’s Not

    If I tell other parents about my troubles, they first nod and say it’s normal; their children also have outbursts or attitudes. But if I get to specifics – say, throwing a chair against a wall, giving me a mild concussion last summer from a door incident, or a back injury from early July due to needing to get him out of my parents’ house, the tone of the conversation changes. It doesn’t sound normal anymore. 

    Something Needs to Change

    8 year old tantrums at home may be okay, but violence and constant rudeness are not. I’ve hesitated to seek professional help so far because I don’t want to get my child labeled as a problem child. Also, I don’t want to interrupt his school trajectory – he’s doing great and loves school, and isn’t that supposed to be important? 

    I know my son has some degree of deliberate, conscious decision-making. He sometimes loses control during his older child tantrums, but he often does have the ability to stop if he hears about a reward. Between that and the fact that he acts right around other people, I know that he can control himself if he chooses.

    But is it time to get help for child aggression? Why are older child tantrums happening? I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to help him without risking changing his angelic school behavior, but I can’t keep living in pain and fear.

  • First Day of Third Grade: Back-to-School Prep and Observations

    School started last week! I know I’m not the only parent who was ready for it. Here’s how the countdown to the first day of third grade went. My son is 8 years old. 

    Back-to-School Shopping List: Short and Sweet!

    Back-to-school shopping appears to be a season these days. Sales seem to start in June and continue through summer vacation. 

    My son’s school supplies pencils, crayons, highlighters, scissors, and other items that they need in the classroom. There’s a beautiful pencil box waiting on each student’s desk when they enter the classroom. I’m just responsible for supplying a backpack, lunchbag, and water bottle. He ended up with this backpack, which feels cushiony and has reinforcements under the side water bottle holders. 

    I’m also lucky when it comes to buying clothes. My son is easy-going, with a few shirts and pants being sufficient. Plus, he enjoys shopping with his grandparents, so I don’t have to do much for his wardrobe. 

    Though I get off relatively easy, it’s true that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I do pay the price for having very little to buy! 

    Cost of a “Free Education:” Fundraising for a Good Cause

    Fundraising starts before school starts with the Annual Giving Campaign. The suggested donation is $1,000 per family. I’m happy to pay it. A public education is supposed to be free, but I can see where the money is spent. The school offers extracurriculars like art, music, gardening, computer lab, and science lab. The facilities are very nice, and, of course, there are the school supplies. You can see that families’ donations are going to benefit the children.

    A Relief for Parents

    Summer vacation can be tough for parents. I can only speak with certainty for myself, but I think other parents feel similarly. Working parents like me enjoy unbelievable freedom and flexibility compared to parents who work in the office, but there are challenges, too. 

    In my case, being at home doesn’t always mean my son is disruptive, but he is increasingly savvy as he grows up. Now he knows that he can watch a screen if I need to work and can’t entertain him. So, I try to avoid the situation. Instead, I try to work at home when he’s not home, or take him somewhere without a screen if I need to work. The library, a park, and long bus rides are options that currently amuse him while I can work. 

    School is a safe, dependable place to leave my son without guilt. I can feel good that he’s with his friends, his brain is getting some sort of stimulation (hopefully), and I’m not choosing between one of three not-great options:

    • Asking my parents to exhaust themselves while watching my son
    • Paying for a babysitter
    • Begging my son to be quiet while I’m working

    School is even low-cost, though as you can see from the cost of a free public education above, it’s not quite free. 

    I assume stay-at-home parents also feel relieved when their children return to school, but I can’t speak for them. Many of them may feel lonely during the day.  Others may embrace the chance to socialize, clean their homes, binge watch tv shows, or volunteer at their children’s schools. 

    A Simple First-Day-of-School Ritual…and What I Did After Drop-off

    I had long planned for the first day of school. I’d walk my son to school at his request. It’s a first-day-of-school tradition, since I don’t usually take him to school. (Usually my parents or a babysitter do the honors while I run). 

    My plan was to drop him off, then go to the park to play basketball. (I’m still playing mostly left-handed, though my back is healing nicely). Then I was going to do some work, take a nap, and clean our home. I played basketball and did some work. Somehow, I wasn’t tired. Maybe I had adrenaline from the excitement of being on my own, guilt-free. 

    First Day of Third Grade: A Statement of Independence 

    I don’t typically take my son to school. When I decided to have a child, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to give up my mornings. I like to run, work out, and have my own time. So, I get a babysitter or my parents take my son in the mornings.

    My son wanted me to take him on the first day of school. I got up early, ran, and then we walked to school. I even remembered to take a first-day-of-school photo. 

    The other children were entering the schoolyard with one or two parents. My son sweetly said goodbye and kindly refused my offer to stand in the yard with him like every other parent. So, that was that. 

    I think third grade comes with a little more independent work. That’s great practice!

    “Best Day Ever”

    It’s nice that even though he’s a big 8-year-old, my son still has a lot of adorable qualities. For example, he still regularly has the best day ever. His first day of school was, according to him, the best day ever. Here’s what I gathered about why.

    • He got a pencil from his teacher. 
    • A classmate paid him a compliment (as part of what apparently was an icebreaker to pass along a compliment to another student). 
    • His teacher awarded the class 10 extra minutes of Friday Free Time.

    He also enjoyed being in the big building, which is where the third, fourth, and fifth-grade classrooms are. 

    The Afterschool Meltdowns Continue

    After the best day ever, who wouldn’t have a meltdown? They’re regular; nearly every day of school ends with a shorter or longer meltdown. This one was shorter than some. 

    How did the first day of school go for you and your children? How did they react to it after school?

  • Why We Don’t Own a Car (And Why It Works for Us)

    Most Americans have cars, but we don’t. We walk to get to most places, we use grocery delivery services and walking for groceries, and we are able to borrow my parents’ car for all necessities and some fun. Here’s why I choose not to purchase a car, and how we make do.

    Getting Around by Borrowing a Car

    To be clear, I have good access to a car. My parents own one. It was new in 2001. It has 30,000 miles on it – which you can see means that none of us drive much! Since they’re out of town more than half of the year, it works out for both parties if I drive their car when they’re gone. I usually take it out once a week to take my son somewhere that’s not within walking distance. We may stop at a supermarket to buy something heavy if it’s on the way. 

    My parents own a car and let us borrow it. It’s far from a Mercedes, but it works!

    Cost Benefits of Not Owning a Car

    It’s expensive to purchase and own a car. There’s the initial investment of $5,000-$50,000, depending on factors like whether you buy a new or used car, and what make and model you purchase. Then there’s insurance, gas, and repairs. A common estimate is about $12,000 annually. 

    There are estimates comparing the cost of owning a car to the cost of using a rideshare like Uber or Lyft. The breakeven point may be around 6,000-8,000 miles per year; that is, if you drive more than that, you should be a car. If you drive less than that, take rideshares. 

    Responsibility Benefits of Not Owning a Car

    Cars are a headache, unless you’re one of those people who loves cars, takes pride in them, and enjoys taking care of them. I’m not. To me, they’re a form of transportation with no emotional benefits. So, I’m just as happy not to worry about maintaining a car, getting it serviced, and handling repairs. (Of course, when I’m responsible for my parents’ car, I do all of those things, such as replacing the radiator last year when necessary). 

    Environmental Benefits of Using Cars Less

    The environmental benefits may be most impressive of all, though I can’t claim that the environment has been the deciding factor in my choice not to own a car. 

    Every time you walk a mile instead of drive one, you’re saving about:

    • 400 grams of carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions (or 150 for an electric vehicle)
    • 3-7 gallons of water

    Walking causes about 90% fewer greenhouse gas emissions compared to driving. 

    Having fewer cars on the road also reduces environmental impact from things like repairing roads. 

    Health Benefits of Walking

    Walking instead of driving is a form of exercise. It’s good for me, and it’s an easy way to get an extra few minutes of walking with my son. We can talk while walking, and both of us can use the movement and fresh air. 

    Let’s face it: most Americans would probably be healthier if they had to park their cars ⅓ of a mile away. They’d think before driving and possibly walk instead of driving sometimes if they knew they had to walk 7 minutes to get to their car and another 7 minutes to walk home after using and parking the car. 

    How Else We Get Around

    With a car being just a small portion of our transportation, how do we get where we need to go? We walk to most places. We take the bus or subway occasionally. 

    Walking Most Places

    We walk most places. Here are some of our frequent destinations. 

    • My son’s school is ½ mile away. 
    • My parents’ house is ⅓ mile away. 
    • A supermarket with great prices on produce is 1.25 miles away. 
    • The park where my son likes to play is ½ mile away. 
    • The public library is 0.75 miles away. 

    Plus, since my son attends the local public school, most of his friends live within a mile of school, or within walking distance for us. 

    As you can see, most of our life is within walking distance!

    Public Transportation

    Public busses are fun, but they’re not always frequent where we live.

    We live in a city with notoriously inadequate public transportation. We don’t take it much for necessities, but we do take it a lot for fun. It’s a way to get places without using a car, and it’s easy to take my son’s bike on board a bus or subway. Plus, kids and students get free rides, so I only have to pay for myself.

    Drawbacks of Not Owning a Car

    It’s definitely less convenient not to have a car. There are many times when I would like to just get in the car and go somewhere, whether to a store, to pick up my son, or just to get away. It is a little harder to arrange playdates that are out of walking range, doctor and dentist appointments, and other things that are too far to walk to. And sometimes I simply don’t feel like asking my parents for yet another favor like borrowing the car, especially when it’s not something essential. 

    No Car in My Future…But What About My Son?

    I don’t expect to ever purchase my own car. I don’t like driving, and as rideshares and self-driving vehicles become more mainstream, I can’t see myself needing to take on the headache of owning a car. 

    I wonder if my son will want his own car, though. I can imagine that after so many years – his whole life – of needing to think carefully before going anywhere or plan anything, he may feel that having his own car gives him immense freedom. 

    If he gets one, I hope he’ll give me rides sometimes.

  • Amazon Fresh Review: Packaging Waste and How to Reduce It

    I Ordered $26 Worth of Groceries from Amazon Fresh and Received 7 Paper Bags: Why So Much Packaging?

    As I explained, I’m on my 3-month free trial of Amazon Fresh grocery delivery. Most of my experience has been great, but the packaging is excessive. It’s no surprise to me, since Amazon has long given me the impression of not caring how much packaging they use. Here’s how it’s going.

    A $26 Order in 7 Bags: What’s in the Bags?

    Most of my orders are just over the $25 minimum for free delivery. This one cost about $26 (plus tip). Here’s what was in each of the 7 bags that I received.

    Bag 1: A Watermelon

    That’s it. Was it necessary? Maybe they could have provided an option for me to decline a bag. You can’t carry watermelons in paper bags anyway. The bag rips. 

    Bag 2: Lettuce

    This bag contained 1 head of iceberg lettuce. Period.

    Was this head of lettuce worthy of a full paper bag?

    Bag 3: Lettuce and Cucumbers

    The cucumbers definitely weren’t crowded.

    This bag contained 1 head of iceberg lettuce, and 3 cucumbers. 

    Bag 4: Lettuce

    This bag contained 2 heads of iceberg lettuce. They weren’t large heads. 

    Bag 5: Cucumbers and Nectarines

    The nectarines might have been lonely without the cucumbers. There was probably room for more.

    This bag contained 3 nectarines and 3 cucumbers. They looked kind of lonely in there. 

    Bag 6: Cheese, Tomatoes, and Turkey Bacon

    This bag contained an 8-ounce bag of shredded cheese, 4 roma tomatoes, and a 12-ounce package of turkey bacon. Besides being vaguely curious about the thinking behind putting tomatoes with refrigerated items (I’d expect almost any other type of product to be refrigerated, but not tomatoes…but that’s an extremely minor question and not anywhere near a complaint…), I am wondering why these small, light items required a whole paper bag to themselves. Any guesses?

    Bag 7: Tomato Soup, Frozen Peas, and Mustard

    This bag contained 2 10-ounce cans of tomato soup and 3 12-ounce bottles of mustard. There was also a bag of sugar snap peas. The bag didn’t seem full

    “Reduce” Before “Reuse” and “Recycle”: A Hierarchy

    In school, I learned that “reduce, reuse, and recycle” were better alternatives than throwing away. What I also learned was that “reducing” waste was less harmful to the environment than “reusing,” and that “reusing” was less harmful than “recycling.” In other words, “reduce” is a clear first choice before “reuse,” which comes before “recycle.”

    Reusing Is Nice, But Is it Reducing Anything?

    Amazon and, admittedly, many other retailers, are quick to point out that their bags and other packages are reusable. That’s very true. You can, as they say, reuse their bags dozens or hundreds of times. But when you reuse these bags, are you reducing the production of more bags?

    That is, you may be reusing these bags for things like collecting your household’s recyclables, but isn’t Amazon still producing just as many new bags, regardless of whether you’re reusing the bags they’ve already given you? For example, if you receive 10 paper bags in one Amazon order, and reuse them all, won’t Amazon still bring you brand-new paper bags when they deliver the next order to you? How is that helping the environment?

    Recycling Generates a “Halo” Effect and Doesn’t Save Much Energy

    Have you ever heard of a “health halo?” It’s when you choose a healthy option, but since it sounds so healthy, you add a less healthy option than you otherwise would have chosen. The healthy option has a “halo” that makes you think the entire meal is healthy, even though it ends up less healthy.

    For example, let’s say you typically order chicken fettuccine alfredo, but you decide to order more healthily this time. So, you opt for grilled chicken, broccoli, and a side salad with light Italian dressing. Then, you feel that you’ve eaten so well that you deserve dessert, so you order a brownie a la mode even though you don’t usually order dessert. Your meal may now have more calories, sugar, and carbohydrates than it would have had you just ordered your typical plate of creamy pasta, but now you feel healthier. 

    I believe there’s an environmental “halo” effect with Amazon (and other) packaging. The bags and boxes state so many times that they’re made from recyclable materials, and that they’re recyclable, that it’s easy to confuse that with “environmentally friendly.” The result is that we may use more, thinking it’s no big deal since they can just be recycled.

    But recycling may not be the great option that it sounds like. It may take 25% less energy to produce a recycled bag than a new one. That means it takes 75% of the energy to produce a recycled bag. That’s nothing to brag about. Recycling takes resources like energy and water. It’s not the answer to excessive amounts of packaging.  

    How Can We Reduce Packaging?

    I don’t know. Does Amazon care what I think? They proudly claim to be the world’s most customer-centric company, and I think they do a great job at that. They’re easy to deal with and they make transactions smooth. They eliminate any potential logistical problems related to packaging by overpackaging everything. 

    How do we get them to reduce packaging? I don’t think “reduce” is an option that most Americans want. We like things in packages. But “reuse” could work, I think, if Amazon picked up the bags it left and reused them. 

    What do you think we and Amazon should do to help save the earth?

  • We Tried Grocery Delivery from Amazon Fresh – Free Trial!

    Everyone seems to use Amazon nowadays, but are you familiar with Amazon Fresh? It’s Amazon’s brick and mortar grocery store. There are only 64 locations nationwide, but they’re strategically placed and are increasing in number. I got a free trial. Here’s how it’s going (hint: I’m using the service a lot!).

    Free Trial Offer During Amazon Prime Days

    Amazon Prime Days occur during July each year. During this year’s event, I took advantage of an offer for a free three-month trial of free grocery delivery for orders over $25 from Amazon Fresh. I don’t usually sign up for trial offers because I’m afraid I will have trouble cancelling them, but Amazon makes it easy. I’ve never had trouble navigating their subscription services and cancelling on time. 

    There’s an app for that! Now, it’s Amazon Fresh and free grocery delivery!

    Delivery and In-Store Shopping and Pick-Up Options

    Anyone can shop in Amazon Fresh stores. Amazon Prime members receive special discounts, similar to other supermarket chain’s membership cards that entitle you to lower prices. Prime members also get free grocery pickup on orders over a certain amount.

    Grocery delivery is only free for Prime members on orders over $100. Less than that, and it’ll cost you at least $9.95 for grocery delivery. You can choose from 2-hour and 1-hour delivery windows. For quicker delivery, you can opt to pay more.

    To get grocery delivery on orders over $25, you can sign up for their grocery delivery service. It’s about $10 per month, depending on whether you pay for a full year or monthly, and whether you have any other special discounts. 

    The Expected Benefit: Convenience Without a Car

    The convenience of Amazon Fresh grocery delivery service is wonderful for my household. We don’t own a car, so it is nice to have groceries delivered to our front doorstep. I get most of my food through Walmart Plus InHome for most groceries, and through frequent walks to a nearby ethnic store for produce. 

    My son can eat an astonishing amount of watermelon, making Amazon Fresh delivery service especially convenient for us.

    With Amazon Fresh, I’ve been able to get watermelons regularly this summer. They’re something I prefer not to get from Walmart, as quality varies, and they’re too heavy to carry home from a supermarket. They’ve been excellent, and my son loves having so much watermelon. 

    It’s also been nice having narrow delivery windows. When I can schedule a delivery within a 1 or 2-hour window, it’s far easier for me to order frozen foods. Other services often have a four-hour delivery window.

    The App Works, But Not Perfectly

    Finally, the app works, just like you’d expect from Amazon. It’s easy to navigate. And, when you load coupons to your wallet, it’s a seamless process and the discounts appear as they should when you’re checking out.

    A drawback is that I’ve been unable to edit my order after checking out, even though it says I should be able to. Somehow, it won’t save my changes, so I’m in effect unable to make changes.

    An Amazon Benefit: Dependability

    Amazon has fabulous customer service, and their grocery delivery service has been consistent with that pattern. They deliver within the scheduled delivery window. Products are high-quality. And, products are largely correct. I rarely have to spend my time with customer service trying to get a refund, which is different from other services I’ve tried.

    An Unexpected Benefit: Prices

    I hadn’t realized how many low-cost items Amazon Fresh has. If you’re buying national brand items, they’re often lower in cost than at other stores. If you’re able to find the product in Amazon Brand (such as Happy Belly, Amazon Saver, and any of their other in-house brands), it’s sure to be high-quality and low in price. 

    Tomato soup is high in potassium, a source of vegetables, and very affordable at Amazon Fresh.

    For the best deals, check in often! Prices can vary widely from day to day. And, they’re not always advertised in the sales flyer. 

    In the past week, I’ve found these deals. 

    For more savings, I use my Amazon credit card through Chase. It gives me 5% cash back on Amazon purchases. 

    Not a Fan of Tips

    Amazon Fresh asks you to tip. Of course I do it. I understand that it’s how the delivery drivers make a higher wage. But I don’t like the concept of tipping. I would much prefer to be charged a price that includes the driver’s wage and doesn’t require a discretionary tip. 

    When I use Walmart Plus InHome, I don’t have to pay a tip. That’s because I pay an extra annual fee for the InHome service compared to standard Walmart Plus. It makes my shopping and calculations easier.

    I also don’t like how Amazon Fresh inputs a default tip amount of $5. That’s 20% for a $25 order or 5% for a $100 order. Does that make any sense?!

    I do like that you can edit the tip for up to 24 hours after the order has been delivered. 

    Items Are Out of Stock

    Amazon Fresh items are constantly playing musical chairs. They’re in stock, out of stock, and in stock again. It makes it hard to plan ahead. Sometimes I place an order even though one or more of the items I wanted aren’t in stock. 

    Sometimes they’ll come back into stock at great prices, and I’ll feel pressured to place an order quickly before they go out of stock, but I don’t need $25 worth of items. It’s a theme I’ve also noticed when physically shopping in Amazon Fresh stores; it’s rare that I come away with every item on my list, even when my list only includes items in the weekly sales flyer. 

    Bottom Line: Love It, But Won’t Renew

    I have been enjoying the Amazon Fresh delivery service. I’ve been getting items like watermelon that are otherwise difficult for me to bring home. Many foods have been inexpensive. And, it’s been easier for me to purchase frozen items.

    Thankfully, I’m in a position where I don’t have to renew the service (and pay for it). I am lucky enough to get what I need from Walmart and stores within walking distance – including Amazon Fresh! We have one less than a mile from our home. 

    Interestingly, it seems as though Amazon is increasing the selection of groceries, including some produce and frozen goods, that it makes available through its “same day delivery” service for orders over $25. I am excited to see how that plays out. 

    How do you do your grocery shopping? Where do you shop? Do you drive, walk, or use delivery services? Which stores do you shop? 

  • We Got a Bladeless Fan By Accident – And Love It!

    Here’s the story of how my household acquired a bladeless fan for free and by accident, and why we love it. It’s a lighter topic after heavy subjects like donating peanut butter and nutrients in peanut butter. This is what we got. Thank you, Amazon!

    A Mistakenly Delivered Package

    One afternoon, my son and I found a package from Amazon in front of our door. I opened it without thinking because we’re always getting packages from Amazon, and I don’t keep track very well of what I’m expecting to come and when I’m expecting it to come. It was a bladeless fan.

    I admit several things. 

    • I hadn’t even known what a bladeless fan was.
    • My son told me as I was opening the package that the address was not ours. (In my defense, he also told me many other things, ranging from sense to nonsense, and probably hadn’t stopped talking in the last 24 hours, so I may not have been listening to every word). 
    • It took me a day to phone Amazon about the package. (In my defense, I immediately tried to inform them of their mistake over chat, but couldn’t figure out how to tell the chat bot what the issue was or how to get to a live person). 

    A Gift from Amazon

    The next day, I phoned Amazon using their direct number. I found it online on a very useful website. After a minimum of interaction with the automated system, I was able to speak with a friendly customer service rep who claimed it was his first day on the job. After I explained that Amazon had mistakenly delivered the fan to me instead of to a different address, the rep looked into it.

    He found that the intended recipient had reported the package as lost. He had requested and received a refund. Therefore, according to the rep’s logic, I could keep or donate the bladeless fan. Hooray! My son loves anything electronic or electric, and I am happy to have a fan. 

    So…here are the details!

    What’s a Bladeless Fan?

    First, for those of you who were like me and didn’t know what a bladeless fan is, but are too shy to ask. A bladeless fan is a fan without blades. That is, it blows air without the potential for you or your children or pets to get your fingers injured by spinning blades. Air comes out through slots that are narrower than if blades were spinning around.

    Getting Started

    Thankfully, there wasn’t much to do. We took the fan out of the box and plugged it in. It came with a USB cable that we plugged into the outlet and the back of the fan. We put the fan on a table and turned it on. It looks like it’s about a $30 fan.

    Family, Child, and Household-Friendly

    The fan seems sturdy. It’s easy to pick up and carry around. It balances nicely on the tabletop, making me feel as though I don’t need to be as careful with it as I do with battery-powered desk-top fans. It’s also handsome and neutral. It comes in white or grey – ours is white – and I don’t see how it could be aesthetically displeasing to anyone. 

    Since it has no blades, it’s theoretically easy to clean just by wiping it. Since everything else in our household is dirty or sticky, I assume our fan will end up that way, too. Hopefully it’ll work for a while. 

    Lights and Sound – Unobtrusive

    The fan has a light at the back so you can see that it’s plugged in. When you turn it on using the power button on the front, a small light lights up. It’s pale on level 1, a mild green on level 2, and a bright green color when the fan is at its top level, level 3. 

    A neat thing about this fan is that it’s designed to be unobtrusive. The lights only light for a few seconds when you turn on the fan or change the power level. Then they turn off; the purpose is for sleeping to be more comfortable. The sound is very quiet, nearly inaudible at level 1. That is good news for someone like me who’s sensitive to noise. I even used it while giving a talk on a call for work, and it was quiet quiet. 

    Effectiveness and Other Benefits

    It’s quite effective for a small fan. It cools a larger area than a small, battery-powered desktop fan. When I left it running overnight near an open window, I could tell that it circulated more air to cool down our home compared to when I leave a smaller fan running overnight. It’s midsummer, but our place isn’t that hot and the nights have been cool.

    Apparently other customers are happy. Amazon claims that over 4,000 customers have purchased this fan in the past month. The average rating is over 4 stars, with nearly 3,000 reviews. 

    Drawbacks

    The only drawbacks I see are clearly stated in the product description. For example, the fan doesn’t run on batteries. You can only use it while it is plugged in. This greatly reduces the range of places you can use it. 

    Similarly clearly stated, it doesn’t have a remote control. I could see this being inconvenient if you’re using it overnight and it’s out of reach of your bed. A timer could also be useful for overnight use. 

    Final Thoughts and Recommendation

    As a way to stay cool without using expensive air conditioning, this fan is fabulous. If I were looking for one to purchase, I’d probably check for one with a battery, but as a free gift, this is something I’m grateful for and that makes my lift better.