Healthy Living Reality

Category: holidays

  • A Birthday Celebration with an Old Friend Makes Me Grateful

    A Birthday Celebration with an Old Friend Makes Me Grateful

    We’ve been talking about routine days of mid-winter, and how to add healthy habits in diet and exercise, as well as family life, to those days. Here are some reflections about a weekend excursion that may not have included many nutrients or much exercise, but did focus on a wonderfully healthy social connection with a centenarian.

    A visit was long overdue, and a birthday celebration was the perfect reason to take her out. I can’t tell you which birthday she was celebrating; it might give her identity away. Yes, she’s that old, and she’s someone my son and I both value in our lives. She’s incredibly special, wise, funny, and giving. On a cloudy, mid-winter day, we went out for ice cream. Though the goal was to give her a treat, I am sure that got more out of the outing than I gave her.

    I Met Her and the “Gym Ladies” When She Was 87

    No joke. She was one of the “Gym Ladies.” When I met her, she had been working out with the other gym ladies for nearly 25 years. They are a fabulous bunch of women – interesting, kind, supportive, and wise. They would get on cardio machines next to each other and gab for 30, 60, or more minutes while working out. 

    They welcomed me with open arms. For years, we’d work out and talk together. We became good friends. They were the ones who threw me a baby shower when I was pregnant with my son. I stayed at the gym until it closed for COVID-19, and some of those women remain my closest friends.

    A Special Friendship with a Now-Centenarian

    This particular friend and I really hit it off. We have a lot in common, from political views to upbringing to sense of humor. We laughed our ways through years of workouts, but there was more. She’s insightful and understanding, too. Every time I came to her with a problem, she was able to see the bigger picture and offer some words of advice based on experience.

    I was always impressed by her life skills. She knew how to talk the cable company out of overcharging her, and how to get suspicious charges eliminated from her phone and wifi bills. She knew how to talk to people on the street or on the phone to avoid scams and get what she wanted. She was absolutely not a candidate for being a victim of scams against the elderly! 

    She’s a baby lover. She used to light up whenever she saw a baby or small child. If a parent had to bring a baby into the gym, she’d instantly get off her exercise machine to go to the baby. She couldn’t help it! 

    In fact, she popped into the hospital on the day my son was born. He was 6 hours old, I had gone through 31 hours of labor and a C-section, and she had the idea of dropping in on me that day! She brought another of the gym ladies, and those two have the honor, of course, of being my son’s oldest friends. 

    Centenarians are increasingly common in the U.S. The Census Bureau says that the number of centenarians, or people over 100 years old, increased from 53,364 in 2010 to 80,139 in 2020. That’s a 50% jump, and equivalent to about 2 in 10,000 people. My friend is among the 50% of female centenarians who live on their own. 

    Bringing Out the Best Side of My Son

    My son loves her as much as she loves him. She’s always made her home open to him and let him play with what he likes. He can feel her love, and he respects her. 

    On the Saturday two days before my friend’s birthday, my son and I came to pick her up at her house. He even washed his hands properly beforehand, knowing that he needs to be careful of her health. 

    She can walk just fine. Usually she uses a walker, but she asked my son to help her get to the car instead of using a walker. He rose to the occasion, being the perfect gentleman. Then he closed the door for her, folded the walker, and put it in the trunk. 

    A Casual Celebration to Be Thankful for

    We drove to the store where the ice cream shop was. Since she hadn’t been out for a while, I’d suggested we go to a supermarket where they sold ice cream scoops and had outdoor seating. We wandered around the store and then ordered ice cream – cookies and cream for all. Then we sat outside with the ice cream and chatted.

    Sometimes, health isn’t about the sugar and fat content. It’s about experiences and connections.

    The Secret to Longevity

    What’s the secret to longevity? Every centenarian has their own ideas. Drink wine. Don’t drink wine. Be active. Don’t be active. Eat a raw egg yolk every day. Take your vitamins. Stay away from supplements. Avoid red meat. Eat meat and potatoes. 

    The only things that are certain is that the proper genetics must be there, and no devastating accidents can occur.  

    In other words, there is not one formula for longevity, and especially for healthy aging. Here’s what I observe in my friend, though I can’t prove cause and effect. They may just be coincidences. 

    • Activity – She was a tomboy as a child, a mother of three, and a gym-goer until age 94.
    • Stubbornness – Don’t bother trying to persuade her otherwise if she has an idea about something.
    • Determination – If she was going to do it, she was going to do it. She told me that when she was a little girl, she didn’t tell her mother that she’d broken her ankle because she was afraid she’d get in trouble. She just walked herself to school like she did every morning. 
    • Resilience – She doesn’t let things drag her down. She looks forward. Maybe that came from her , but I suspect a lot of it is within her personality. 
    • Connection – She’s the one who taught me about Family Dinner on Wednesdays (I adopted that idea and my son and my parents and I have Family Lunch on Sundays). Plus, she maintains her friendships with the other Gym Ladies.

    If my son and I can learn anything from her, it may be to stay active, stay interested, and stay connected. The rest, we do the best we can. And, as she says, “Take it one day at a time.”

    Thank you, and Happy Birthday!

  • A Healthy Transition Back to School After Break: Parent-Tested Tips

    A Healthy Transition Back to School After Break: Parent-Tested Tips

    Going back to school can be tough for families after a break. Winter break, for example, can be 2-3 weeks for many school children, and include holidays and other seasonal events. When kids are out of school, there’s less reason to follow a consistent routine, especially if parents are taking time off work. Sleep, eating, and activity patterns can be different or non-existent during break. 

    The return to school can feel scary if you’re worried about transitioning back to strict schedules, early mornings, and homework – but don’t worry. These tips can help you reset and ease the transition back to school and regular schedules. 

    Routines While Out of School: Looser But a Necessary Break

    When there’s no school or work to create a schedule, it’s likely that you’ll ease out of your regular routine. Sleep times may shift, and meal times may be less regimented. Instead of sitting down to balanced meals, many families shift to more takeout, snacking, and holiday treats. 

    On vacation, it’s good to take advantage of flexible schedules!

    There’s nothing wrong with this for the short-term. For many busy parents, it’s necessary to take a break from what feels like planning every aspect of life, the way you might when there are work, homework, and extracurricular activities to keep straight. Some mental down time can let you recharge for the rest of the year. 

    But that can lead to a rude awakening when real life kicks back in!

    A regular school day usually starts with a strict waking time followed by a busy morning. It may include packing lunches and homework, eating or packing breakfast, and some rushed discussions about afterschool pickup and activities. Later, there may be sports or other activities, dinner, and homework. A regular bedtime is essential for good health, since you’ll all be repeating the schedule tomorrow. 

    Getting Back into a Schedule – Including Sleep

    Planning your schedule ahead of time lets you fit the important things into each day without as much effort. When you’re consistent, your mind and body are more prepared. You have energy when it’s time to wake up, you’re tired when it’s time to sleep, and you’re hungry at meal times. 

    Thankfully, when school starts back up, there are a lot of set times that you can work around as you’re getting back on schedule! 

    • The start of the school day
    • The end of the school day
    • Any extracurricular activities
    • Any meetings you have, or a time you come home from work (or stop working)

    Use these events to your advantage as you reset your schedule. 

    School starts early in the morning, so you’ll need to get up on time. It can be challenging if your family has shifted to a later schedule over the holidays, but gradually shifting back can help. Wake up and go to sleep a few minutes earlier each day until your body’s clock is back to being on “school” time. 

    It helps to re-establish regular meal times and physical activity schedules, too. Try to get back to your typical family eating patterns and times so that your body and mind can go back to predicting when meal times and sleep times will be. 

    Make a To-Do List to Relieve Stress on Parents

    There’s a lot to do when school gets back in session, but you can use simple tools to make it easier on kids and parents. A simple to-do list or checklist can relieve the burden of trying to remember things. It can help you make sure everyone has what they need when leaving home in the mornings. It can also make your evening calmer. 

    Here’s what you might include on a daily checklist or to-do list. 

    • Pack backpacks, which might include lunches, water bottles, and homework.
    • Check for gym clothes (older kids), instruments, sports equipment, or other items needed for extracurricular activities that day or the next day. 
    • If you work outside the home, pack your own lunch and any laptops or other work items you’ll need. 
    • Activities like grocery shopping (make a list!), filling the car with gasoline, and walking to the library to return a book. 
    • Chores like meal prep, housecleaning, laundry, and gardening. 
    • Working out or walking. 
    Make sure everything’s packed the night before so you can be on time for the school bus!

    The less you need to remember, the less likely you are to forget. That’s especially true when last-minute, unexpected demands arise, like your kids needing to finish a project by the next morning. It’s also more efficient to go down a checklist than to try to remember what you need to do. 

    Back to Healthy Habits

    It’s okay if your family slacked on your typical healthy habits. Meals may have been more like sporadic snacks. Screen time may have crept up. You may have missed a workout or three. It’s good to take a break occasionally! But when vacation is over, it’s time to get back to healthy habits for everyone. 

    Here’s a snapshot. 

    • A balanced breakfast, especially for kids. It’s hard to focus on learning when they’re hungry! Consider fresh fruit, reduced-fat dairy like yogurt or milk, a whole grain like oatmeal, whole-grain toast, or whole-grain cereal. Here are ideas. 
    • A healthy lunch with fiber and protein. Check our healthy lunch ideas! 
    • A family dinner with protein, whole grains, and vegetables. Don’t worry – here are plenty of options for nutritious, family-friendly, simple dinners. 
    • Physical activity. Kids can get back to active recess and sports at school with friends, or afterschool in organized activities. Parents can get back to regularly scheduled workouts. 
    Taco night is a kid-friendly, parent-friendly, nutritious option.

    If screen time crept up, it’s a good time to dial it back. Kids can keep themselves busy with homework, afterschool activities, and reading at home. If you do let them use devices, set strict rules on what they’re allowed to do or watch, and for how long. Then stick to the boundaries you set!

    Ongoing Support for Kids When Returning to School

    Keep in mind that while as a parent, you may find school to be a blessing, kids may not feel like going back. Even kids who love school and do well in it may find it stressful or boring. Or, they may just prefer to be at home with you – not realizing that “vacationing you” has time to play with them, while “working” you may not. 

    Do your best to “be there” for your kids. Talk them through any fears or anxieties they have. Validate their feelings, but reassure them. If it helps, talk about the things they’re looking forward to in school, whether it’s a daily occurrence like playing kickball at recess, or something coming up like a field trip or class party. You might also find it helpful to talk about your plans for next weekend or an upcoming holiday so that kids have something to focus on besides school. 

    Remind kids about fun things at school, like games with friends.

    The transition is an ongoing process, so be prepared to work through it for days or weeks. If you see any concerning signs, talk to your children’s teacher or pediatrician for advice. 

  • More Parent-Tested, Lifestyle Coach-Approved Tips for Staying Healthy During Winter Break: Immunity, Sleep, Schedules, and Screens

    More Parent-Tested, Lifestyle Coach-Approved Tips for Staying Healthy During Winter Break: Immunity, Sleep, Schedules, and Screens

    Winter break is a pause from the usual routine. For parents, differences at this time of year may include kids being home from school, prep for holidays and holiday events, and challenges like working during school closures, getting sick, or traveling in winter weather. 

    Unfortunately, winter break often means straying from healthy habits. The first post in this series talked about eating well, staying active, and hydrating during winter break. We also talked about maintaining mental health by establishing priorities and sticking to them. This post talks about supporting health with immune support, daily structure, healthy sleep, and responsible screen time. It’s worth it to take a few steps to support health during this winter break!

    Supporting Immune Health During Winter Break

    Winter break falls within peak cold and flu season, and COVID-19 is still a threat. Travel and gatherings like holiday parties and family reunions can increase the spread. 

    Here are simple tips to boost your immunity and reduce the spread of infections. 

    Washing hands is easy and effective.

    • Wash your hands properly before eating, after using the bathroom, and when coming back inside after going out.
    • Get recommended vaccines, such as for the flu and COVID-19.
    • Consume plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables for vitamin C and other nutrients.
    • Stay hydrated with water, tea, or other low-calorie beverages. 
    • Get enough sleep and physical activity.
    • Wear a mask when around others. 

    Remember to assess risk before attending gatherings. If you or someone in your household is at higher risk for more serious illnesses, consider wearing masks or skipping the event. Similarly, be considerate if you’re planning to visit higher-risk individuals like grandparents. Inform them if you or your children are ill, and let them decide whether they still want you to come or if they want you to mask up. 

    Keep in mind that most colds aren’t serious. Kids are likely to get sick sometimes, just like grown-ups. Contact your child’s pediatrician if you have concerns. 

    Sleep: An Underrated Winter Break Health Habit

    Parents already know that sleep is critical for mood and behavior; tired children are no fun to manage. Sleep also boosts immunity, energy, and ability to think. Winter break is a great time to get more sleep for several reasons. 

    • It’s easier to set aside time for a bedtime routine when kids aren’t swamped with homework.
    • Days are shorter, so it gets dark earlier in the evening and stays dark later in the morning – perfect for sleeping!
    • There’s more ability to sleep in when you’re not rushing to gather kids, clothes, lunches, and homework, and get them off to school on time. 

    For best results, keep bedtime to within an hour of bedtime during the school year. That makes it easier to go back to school without causing sleep deprivation. Sticking to a consistent sleep schedule also makes it easier to get to sleep and fall asleep, so it’s easier to get adequate high-quality sleep. 

    Also maintain habits like turning off screens at least 30 minutes before bed, having a bedtime routine that’s consistent, and being active during the day so kids are ready to sleep at night. 

    Maintaining a Loose Daily Schedule Without Over-Scheduling

    Winter break offers the chance to be less strict with your schedule. You don’t have to drop the kids off early at school. They may not have certain after-school activities to attend. Work hours may be less rigid. 

    Plan to eat meals together at a consistent time, and the rest of your daily schedule can fall into place more easily.

    With extra flexibility, it can be tempting to let go of a schedule completely, but that can be a mistake. While some people perceive schedules as limiting, I like to think of them as liberating. Here’s why having a set schedule can be liberating.

    • It reduces decision fatigue because you’ve already decided when many events – like meals and bedtime – will occur.
    • It gives you control over your time because it lets you set aside time for what’s important to you, such as work, specific events, working out, and family time.
    • It lets offers kids predictability and stability, which lets kids thrive and feel secure
    • It lets kids see that you’ve set aside time for what they want, like screen time or play time

    To create a schedule that doesn’t make you feel trapped, start with a few anchor events to establish and maintain a daily rhythm. They may include:

    • Bedtime (and a bedtime routine before that)
    • Meal times
    • Outdoor times 
    • Nap time (if you have younger children)

    Depending on your needs and the ages of your children, other items in the daily schedule may include reading time, screen time, family play time, and quiet individual play time (when you can work if needed). 

    See how your schedule works for a few days, then tweak it if needed. 

    Screen Time: Set Boundaries That Actually Work

    Each family has different norms around screen time: how much, when, and what’s okay to do or watch. Ipads and other tablets, laptops, phones, and smart watches are abundant in most households nowadays, and they act like kid magnets. 

    Tablets can give parents a needed break while traveling, and it’s a time when kids are sedentary anyway.

    During vacation, it’s important to set boundaries that meet your needs. Usually, there’s a conflict between parents wanting to reduce kids’ screen time versus kids wanting to watch more and parents needing a way to entertain kids without them. 

    When you set boundaries for screen time, consider these aspects. 

    • How many hours are okay per day or week. 
    • Which device(s) your child will have access to.
    • Which guardrails you’ll put in place, such as supervising your child during screen time, using the device together with your child, or activating a child mode on the device. 
    • What your child may do with the device, such as doing educational programs, playing interactive games, or watching videos. 

    Whatever rules you set, stick to them just like you stick to any other rules in your household. Here are some rules you might consider. 

    • A maximum of two hours of screen time a day.
    • No screen time until after a certain amount of active time and reading or other educational activity.
    • The child must get your approval for each new activity, such as a new game or video.
    • The child must take vision and active breaks every 30 minutes, like running around the house for 1-2 minutes without looking at a screen. 

    All screens should be turned off for the bedtime routine. 

    Keep in mind that everyone needs a break – maybe even you. If the only way you can get a break and prevent a breakdown is to give your child more screen time, it’s okay. They’ll survive, and you need to, too. 

    Winter break and the holidays can be both happy and healthy, but it can take some planning and tricks to make it happen. How do you stay healthy during this time? 

  • Winter Break Reality: Balancing Work, Kids, Holidays, and Rest When School Is Out

    Winter Break Reality: Balancing Work, Kids, Holidays, and Rest When School Is Out

    Winter break is starting – and somehow, the thought of schools being closed for three weeks isn’t as exciting for me as a parent as it was for me as a kid. There is still a lot to be excited about, such as the end of Hanukkah and extra time with a kid who isn’t burdened with homework, spelling tests, and maximizing his Friday Free Time in third grade. 

    But many parents may agree with me that a break from school leads to personal challenges. It can be hard to juggle parenting, working, health, and, often, expectations around holidays. At the same time, this is theoretically the time of year we’re supposed to recharge for the year to come. 

    I don’t have a solution for getting all my work done, entertaining my child while keeping him from watching a screen, staying active, attending all holiday events, and starting the new year feeling rested. If that’s your idea of a successful winter break, I don’t know how to get you there. But if you’re like me in setting more realistic goals for a successful break, keep reading for strategies.

    Double Duty on Winter Break

    As a single working parent, I am facing three weeks of working while my son is home from school. For me, that translates to 11 working days and 4 vacation days (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day). That leaves 11 work days for me to parent an active boy in the home while meeting work deadlines. 

    The idea of spending more time with my son is nice. He’ll be more relaxed without feeling pressure that he puts on himself when school’s in session to behave well, follow directions, study hard, and do his best. He’ll love extra time with his grandparents (my parents). These will hopefully translate into more pleasant time with me – and he is wonderful company when he’s in a good mood! 

    But it’s tricky getting work done when he’s around. The only way I’ve found to concentrate on work when he’s at home is to let him watch a device. It’s not healthy for his body or mind, and it makes me feel guilty. So, it’s time to juggle. 

    • Which work-related tasks can I complete while talking to him – that is, which tasks don’t require full attention?
    • Which tasks can I squeeze in if we go to the park and I can get him to play for a few minutes by himself – for example, is there anything I can work on using my phone, and can I do any thinking while we’re walking to the park so that if I have a few minutes to work while at the park, I can type furiously?
    • What tricks can I come up with to have him do some sort of task on his own before he starts watching YouTube?

    It’s tough – but thankfully, there are fewer meetings at work, so I can mostly focus on doing essential tasks. 

    Keeping Kids Happy: Benefits and Compromises

    The obvious benefit of schools being closed is getting to spend more time with my son. There are sides of my son and parts of his day that I don’t usually get to see. I get to see his more relaxed self that’s not thinking about homework or who gets to be up first in kickball or whether he’ll get to have two pieces of pizza instead of just one at lunch. I love his excitement for things like upcoming holidays and extra time with my parents.

    On the flip side, there’s more time to fill. It’s harder to keep him away from a screen, especially if I don’t feel like spending all day, every day focused on him – or if I simply can’t because of work or other priorities. 

    One of my main strategies for keeping my son content, getting my essential work done, and staying a little bit sane are to define the time periods. Here are some examples. 

    • Quality time together: If we’re dedicating time to each other, I make sure we’re doing something that involves interaction or focus. For example, we can play cards together, play catch or another sport, or do an art project. 
    • Relaxed time at home. We may be in the same room, but I’ve let him know that he can enjoy his free time and activities, and I will be doing mine. We may talk periodically.
    • “Alone” time. There may be times when I need to concentrate, such as if I am writing a piece or doing calculations. I ask my son to wait for a few minutes before talking to me. I try not to do this too much when he’s home, but sometimes it’s necessary. 

    Holidays with Kids: “Good Enough” Is Probably “Great”

    Kids love special occasions. They bring their own joy, excitement, and ideas. While you may have an image of a “perfect” holiday, keep in mind that whatever happens on the holiday will probably be great in their eyes. 

    It probably doesn’t matter what you make or do together – as long as it’s pleasant, it serves the holiday purpose.

    Here are a few ways to support holidays that are easier on parents and magical for kids. Keep in mind that all children and families are different, so adopt these tips to fit your own situation. 

    • Involve them in holiday prep, from decorating your home’s interior and exterior, to wrapping gifts, to mixing batter for cookies. If their “help” slows you down too much, give them tasks that are separate from yours, like placing spoonfuls of batter on a baking pan while you mix the batter for the next batch of cookies.
    • Let them lead, even if they do it differently than you would have done it. For example, let them create a holiday playlist that has very little to do with the holiday you’re celebrating, choose a gift that you wouldn’t have chosen for that person, or distribute Valentine’s Day napkins at a Christmas dinner. They’re participating and feeling included and loved, and that’s what’s important. 
    • Give your children jobs. They may be the event photographer, DJ, escort for guests, set-up crew, or all of those. Kids tend to rise to the challenge, especially if they get to tell guests how important their jobs are. 
    Let your children be leaders and experts – even if they want to show you that they learned dreidel in school, but you’re not Jewish!

    As much as possible, be a good role model. Be happy and accepting. Express gratitude and excitement when you receive a gift. Show how much fun you have when you select the perfect gift to give. Above all, make it clear that you are pleased with the holiday, and thankful to be with your family. 

    Resting Up for the New Year

    How can you rest with work, parenting, and holidays happening all at once? It’s important to give yourself a mental break. Cut yourself slack on things like rigid schedules, perfectly balanced homemade meals, and screen time for your kids. If they skip a chore, let it go. Arguing with them may take more effort than it’s worth. Simply telling yourself that it’s okay to loosen up for a couple of weeks can make a huge difference in the amount of stress you feel. 

    For some physical rest, delay or skip non-essential tasks. Clean the house less often, let holiday decorations stay up for a few extra days or weeks (except for a potentially dangerous dried-out Christmas tree, which can be a fire hazard). Wear casual clothes instead of dressing up, and limit your planned commitments. Cutting a few corners here and there can add up to a well-deserved break. 

    Holidays can be both magical and difficult for parents, but you can take steps to get what you need while your children are out of school. Set your priorities, do only what’s necessary to accomplish the bare minimum, and maintain a positive attitude. You can start the new year feeling closer to your kids, refreshed, and on top of things at work.