I’m not a very social person. Maybe I take after my dad. I’m happy to be by myself, and I usually find it tiring to be around people. It’s been like that for me since middle school. At the same time, though, I’ve always had a group of friends around me due to exercise. In middle school, high school, and college, my friends were my teammates. In graduate school, my friends were running partners. And for a decade after that, my friends were my gym friends.
Here’s the story of how I met my gym friends and why they are such a special group for which I will always be grateful.
A Lucky Meeting
I had never been regular at a gym, though I’ve always been active. I joined a gym in 2012 to take advantage of the classes they offered, but didn’t plan to do much more than attend one or two dance or aerobics classes a week. It was a women’s gym, though that’s not why I joined. It was affordable and within biking distance, and had a good class schedule for me.
When I had mild plantar fasciitis one day, I had to cut my run short. I headed to the gym to use the elliptical machine, and that’s when I met “them.” “They” were a group of ladies, aged about 55 to 87, who had been working out together for over 20 years. There was one “young” lady who was only 35, and who had been with them for about 5 years.
A Warm Welcome from the Gym Ladies
They were the gym ladies. , and they welcomed me warmly. They let me into their “group” and introduced me to everyone. They explained the birthday protocol – each lady was responsible for bringing cupcakes to the gym on another lady’s birthday – and told me the lady for whom I was responsible, and the date of her birthday.
These ladies had met each other at the gym. Most of them would not have met each other anywhere else. They were a diverse group, including working and retired teachers, a bank teller, a real estate agent (who ended up selling me my home), a saleswoman, a beautician, an entertainer, a president and founder of a non-profit, and some stay-at-home moms (one of whom now works with me). There were parents of children ranging from 5 years old to 65 years old. They inspired each other to keep showing up at the gym each morning.
I hadn’t intended to continue using the gym on a daily basis once my plantar fasciitis cleared up. I’d planned to go back to once or twice-weekly dance fitness classes. But the joy of having a whole new group of friends
An Always Honest and Open Group!
Though they were among the most consistent and probably fit people of their age, they never pretended that it was easy to come to the gym. The standard response to, “Good morning! How are you?” was, “I’m here.” That might expand into, “I’m doing my best,” “It’s tougher than usual today,” or, “One day at a time.”
But instead of that feeling negative, it felt real. We knew we were working hard to be at the gym. From scheduling the time to actually coming, it’s a real effort to work out each day. And that’s where friendship comes in.
A Decade Working Out with My “Gym Friends”
We were each other’s “gym friends.” We welcomed each other, texted or phone when someone was an unexpected no-show at the gym that morning, and were completely open with each other.
We’d take machines next to each other whenever possible. We’d have a whole row of ellipticals, or be in smaller groups on the bikes or treadmills. It didn’t matter that a 30-something-year-old (me) was next to an 80-something-year-old. We could chat and work out together.
We talked about everything and nothing. What else do you talk about when you’re “stuck” on a gym machine for 30, 60, or 90 minutes? You have time to talk deeply about anything! Since it was a women’s-only gym, we felt comfortable talking loudly, often loudly enough to annoy most of the other women who were present. (In our defense, anyone was welcome to join the conversation…)
There was no pressure put on our friendships. We accepted each other and looked forward to seeing each other at the gym. We might see one or two of each other outside of the gym occasionally, but there was no requirement. We knew we’d get to see each other at the gym the next morning to start the day off right. You could get a hug if you were down, or a hug if you needed to celebrate. We were there for each other.
Continued Friendships After a Decade with the Gym Ladies
I was able to take advantage of our daily chit-chats and workouts for nearly a decade, until 2020. I learned so much from these women. They shared their wisdom with me, and I learned about acceptance, advice, support, and so many other qualities that these kind people learned through life lessons and were generous enough to share with me. I learned that very different people can benefit from being around each other and listening to each other.
The gym closed when COVID-19 hit, and then permanently closed due to bankruptcy. By the end of COVID-19, my habits had again changed, and I’d returned to running and biking on my own, perfectly content fitness-wise.
But many gym friendships continued. I stay in touch with many of the ladies on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis by phone. I speak with others more sporadically. Every so often, I meet one or another of them somewhere around town, like a market, park, or home.
We’re all grateful for those years at the gym and for each other. Some joined new gyms after COVID-19. Others, like me, developed different habits – hikes, classes on Zoom, mall walks, park walks. Some are too old to work out daily anymore – getting to 100 years old while in shape to be self-sufficient is already terribly impressive to me!
I am grateful to have met this group of women. I don’t miss working out at the gym, but I do miss the daily chats. Sometimes really great things happen in life, and that gym was one of them for me.
Which friends and lessons do you truly value?
