Healthy Living Reality

Category: parenting

  • First Day of Third Grade: Back-to-School Prep and Observations

    School started last week! I know I’m not the only parent who was ready for it. Here’s how the countdown to the first day of third grade went. My son is 8 years old. 

    Back-to-School Shopping List: Short and Sweet!

    Back-to-school shopping appears to be a season these days. Sales seem to start in June and continue through summer vacation. 

    My son’s school supplies pencils, crayons, highlighters, scissors, and other items that they need in the classroom. There’s a beautiful pencil box waiting on each student’s desk when they enter the classroom. I’m just responsible for supplying a backpack, lunchbag, and water bottle. He ended up with this backpack, which feels cushiony and has reinforcements under the side water bottle holders. 

    I’m also lucky when it comes to buying clothes. My son is easy-going, with a few shirts and pants being sufficient. Plus, he enjoys shopping with his grandparents, so I don’t have to do much for his wardrobe. 

    Though I get off relatively easy, it’s true that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I do pay the price for having very little to buy! 

    Cost of a “Free Education:” Fundraising for a Good Cause

    Fundraising starts before school starts with the Annual Giving Campaign. The suggested donation is $1,000 per family. I’m happy to pay it. A public education is supposed to be free, but I can see where the money is spent. The school offers extracurriculars like art, music, gardening, computer lab, and science lab. The facilities are very nice, and, of course, there are the school supplies. You can see that families’ donations are going to benefit the children.

    A Relief for Parents

    Summer vacation can be tough for parents. I can only speak with certainty for myself, but I think other parents feel similarly. Working parents like me enjoy unbelievable freedom and flexibility compared to parents who work in the office, but there are challenges, too. 

    In my case, being at home doesn’t always mean my son is disruptive, but he is increasingly savvy as he grows up. Now he knows that he can watch a screen if I need to work and can’t entertain him. So, I try to avoid the situation. Instead, I try to work at home when he’s not home, or take him somewhere without a screen if I need to work. The library, a park, and long bus rides are options that currently amuse him while I can work. 

    School is a safe, dependable place to leave my son without guilt. I can feel good that he’s with his friends, his brain is getting some sort of stimulation (hopefully), and I’m not choosing between one of three not-great options:

    • Asking my parents to exhaust themselves while watching my son
    • Paying for a babysitter
    • Begging my son to be quiet while I’m working

    School is even low-cost, though as you can see from the cost of a free public education above, it’s not quite free. 

    I assume stay-at-home parents also feel relieved when their children return to school, but I can’t speak for them. Many of them may feel lonely during the day.  Others may embrace the chance to socialize, clean their homes, binge watch tv shows, or volunteer at their children’s schools. 

    A Simple First-Day-of-School Ritual…and What I Did After Drop-off

    I had long planned for the first day of school. I’d walk my son to school at his request. It’s a first-day-of-school tradition, since I don’t usually take him to school. (Usually my parents or a babysitter do the honors while I run). 

    My plan was to drop him off, then go to the park to play basketball. (I’m still playing mostly left-handed, though my back is healing nicely). Then I was going to do some work, take a nap, and clean our home. I played basketball and did some work. Somehow, I wasn’t tired. Maybe I had adrenaline from the excitement of being on my own, guilt-free. 

    First Day of Third Grade: A Statement of Independence 

    I don’t typically take my son to school. When I decided to have a child, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to give up my mornings. I like to run, work out, and have my own time. So, I get a babysitter or my parents take my son in the mornings.

    My son wanted me to take him on the first day of school. I got up early, ran, and then we walked to school. I even remembered to take a first-day-of-school photo. 

    The other children were entering the schoolyard with one or two parents. My son sweetly said goodbye and kindly refused my offer to stand in the yard with him like every other parent. So, that was that. 

    I think third grade comes with a little more independent work. That’s great practice!

    “Best Day Ever”

    It’s nice that even though he’s a big 8-year-old, my son still has a lot of adorable qualities. For example, he still regularly has the best day ever. His first day of school was, according to him, the best day ever. Here’s what I gathered about why.

    • He got a pencil from his teacher. 
    • A classmate paid him a compliment (as part of what apparently was an icebreaker to pass along a compliment to another student). 
    • His teacher awarded the class 10 extra minutes of Friday Free Time.

    He also enjoyed being in the big building, which is where the third, fourth, and fifth-grade classrooms are. 

    The Afterschool Meltdowns Continue

    After the best day ever, who wouldn’t have a meltdown? They’re regular; nearly every day of school ends with a shorter or longer meltdown. This one was shorter than some. 

    How did the first day of school go for you and your children? How did they react to it after school?

  • Why We Don’t Own a Car (And Why It Works for Us)

    Most Americans have cars, but we don’t. We walk to get to most places, we use grocery delivery services and walking for groceries, and we are able to borrow my parents’ car for all necessities and some fun. Here’s why I choose not to purchase a car, and how we make do.

    Getting Around by Borrowing a Car

    To be clear, I have good access to a car. My parents own one. It was new in 2001. It has 30,000 miles on it – which you can see means that none of us drive much! Since they’re out of town more than half of the year, it works out for both parties if I drive their car when they’re gone. I usually take it out once a week to take my son somewhere that’s not within walking distance. We may stop at a supermarket to buy something heavy if it’s on the way. 

    My parents own a car and let us borrow it. It’s far from a Mercedes, but it works!

    Cost Benefits of Not Owning a Car

    It’s expensive to purchase and own a car. There’s the initial investment of $5,000-$50,000, depending on factors like whether you buy a new or used car, and what make and model you purchase. Then there’s insurance, gas, and repairs. A common estimate is about $12,000 annually. 

    There are estimates comparing the cost of owning a car to the cost of using a rideshare like Uber or Lyft. The breakeven point may be around 6,000-8,000 miles per year; that is, if you drive more than that, you should be a car. If you drive less than that, take rideshares. 

    Responsibility Benefits of Not Owning a Car

    Cars are a headache, unless you’re one of those people who loves cars, takes pride in them, and enjoys taking care of them. I’m not. To me, they’re a form of transportation with no emotional benefits. So, I’m just as happy not to worry about maintaining a car, getting it serviced, and handling repairs. (Of course, when I’m responsible for my parents’ car, I do all of those things, such as replacing the radiator last year when necessary). 

    Environmental Benefits of Using Cars Less

    The environmental benefits may be most impressive of all, though I can’t claim that the environment has been the deciding factor in my choice not to own a car. 

    Every time you walk a mile instead of drive one, you’re saving about:

    • 400 grams of carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions (or 150 for an electric vehicle)
    • 3-7 gallons of water

    Walking causes about 90% fewer greenhouse gas emissions compared to driving. 

    Having fewer cars on the road also reduces environmental impact from things like repairing roads. 

    Health Benefits of Walking

    Walking instead of driving is a form of exercise. It’s good for me, and it’s an easy way to get an extra few minutes of walking with my son. We can talk while walking, and both of us can use the movement and fresh air. 

    Let’s face it: most Americans would probably be healthier if they had to park their cars ⅓ of a mile away. They’d think before driving and possibly walk instead of driving sometimes if they knew they had to walk 7 minutes to get to their car and another 7 minutes to walk home after using and parking the car. 

    How Else We Get Around

    With a car being just a small portion of our transportation, how do we get where we need to go? We walk to most places. We take the bus or subway occasionally. 

    Walking Most Places

    We walk most places. Here are some of our frequent destinations. 

    • My son’s school is ½ mile away. 
    • My parents’ house is ⅓ mile away. 
    • A supermarket with great prices on produce is 1.25 miles away. 
    • The park where my son likes to play is ½ mile away. 
    • The public library is 0.75 miles away. 

    Plus, since my son attends the local public school, most of his friends live within a mile of school, or within walking distance for us. 

    As you can see, most of our life is within walking distance!

    Public Transportation

    Public busses are fun, but they’re not always frequent where we live.

    We live in a city with notoriously inadequate public transportation. We don’t take it much for necessities, but we do take it a lot for fun. It’s a way to get places without using a car, and it’s easy to take my son’s bike on board a bus or subway. Plus, kids and students get free rides, so I only have to pay for myself.

    Drawbacks of Not Owning a Car

    It’s definitely less convenient not to have a car. There are many times when I would like to just get in the car and go somewhere, whether to a store, to pick up my son, or just to get away. It is a little harder to arrange playdates that are out of walking range, doctor and dentist appointments, and other things that are too far to walk to. And sometimes I simply don’t feel like asking my parents for yet another favor like borrowing the car, especially when it’s not something essential. 

    No Car in My Future…But What About My Son?

    I don’t expect to ever purchase my own car. I don’t like driving, and as rideshares and self-driving vehicles become more mainstream, I can’t see myself needing to take on the headache of owning a car. 

    I wonder if my son will want his own car, though. I can imagine that after so many years – his whole life – of needing to think carefully before going anywhere or plan anything, he may feel that having his own car gives him immense freedom. 

    If he gets one, I hope he’ll give me rides sometimes.

  • We Tried Grocery Delivery from Amazon Fresh – Free Trial!

    Everyone seems to use Amazon nowadays, but are you familiar with Amazon Fresh? It’s Amazon’s brick and mortar grocery store. There are only 64 locations nationwide, but they’re strategically placed and are increasing in number. I got a free trial. Here’s how it’s going (hint: I’m using the service a lot!).

    Free Trial Offer During Amazon Prime Days

    Amazon Prime Days occur during July each year. During this year’s event, I took advantage of an offer for a free three-month trial of free grocery delivery for orders over $25 from Amazon Fresh. I don’t usually sign up for trial offers because I’m afraid I will have trouble cancelling them, but Amazon makes it easy. I’ve never had trouble navigating their subscription services and cancelling on time. 

    There’s an app for that! Now, it’s Amazon Fresh and free grocery delivery!

    Delivery and In-Store Shopping and Pick-Up Options

    Anyone can shop in Amazon Fresh stores. Amazon Prime members receive special discounts, similar to other supermarket chain’s membership cards that entitle you to lower prices. Prime members also get free grocery pickup on orders over a certain amount.

    Grocery delivery is only free for Prime members on orders over $100. Less than that, and it’ll cost you at least $9.95 for grocery delivery. You can choose from 2-hour and 1-hour delivery windows. For quicker delivery, you can opt to pay more.

    To get grocery delivery on orders over $25, you can sign up for their grocery delivery service. It’s about $10 per month, depending on whether you pay for a full year or monthly, and whether you have any other special discounts. 

    The Expected Benefit: Convenience Without a Car

    The convenience of Amazon Fresh grocery delivery service is wonderful for my household. We don’t own a car, so it is nice to have groceries delivered to our front doorstep. I get most of my food through Walmart Plus InHome for most groceries, and through frequent walks to a nearby ethnic store for produce. 

    My son can eat an astonishing amount of watermelon, making Amazon Fresh delivery service especially convenient for us.

    With Amazon Fresh, I’ve been able to get watermelons regularly this summer. They’re something I prefer not to get from Walmart, as quality varies, and they’re too heavy to carry home from a supermarket. They’ve been excellent, and my son loves having so much watermelon. 

    It’s also been nice having narrow delivery windows. When I can schedule a delivery within a 1 or 2-hour window, it’s far easier for me to order frozen foods. Other services often have a four-hour delivery window.

    The App Works, But Not Perfectly

    Finally, the app works, just like you’d expect from Amazon. It’s easy to navigate. And, when you load coupons to your wallet, it’s a seamless process and the discounts appear as they should when you’re checking out.

    A drawback is that I’ve been unable to edit my order after checking out, even though it says I should be able to. Somehow, it won’t save my changes, so I’m in effect unable to make changes.

    An Amazon Benefit: Dependability

    Amazon has fabulous customer service, and their grocery delivery service has been consistent with that pattern. They deliver within the scheduled delivery window. Products are high-quality. And, products are largely correct. I rarely have to spend my time with customer service trying to get a refund, which is different from other services I’ve tried.

    An Unexpected Benefit: Prices

    I hadn’t realized how many low-cost items Amazon Fresh has. If you’re buying national brand items, they’re often lower in cost than at other stores. If you’re able to find the product in Amazon Brand (such as Happy Belly, Amazon Saver, and any of their other in-house brands), it’s sure to be high-quality and low in price. 

    Tomato soup is high in potassium, a source of vegetables, and very affordable at Amazon Fresh.

    For the best deals, check in often! Prices can vary widely from day to day. And, they’re not always advertised in the sales flyer. 

    In the past week, I’ve found these deals. 

    For more savings, I use my Amazon credit card through Chase. It gives me 5% cash back on Amazon purchases. 

    Not a Fan of Tips

    Amazon Fresh asks you to tip. Of course I do it. I understand that it’s how the delivery drivers make a higher wage. But I don’t like the concept of tipping. I would much prefer to be charged a price that includes the driver’s wage and doesn’t require a discretionary tip. 

    When I use Walmart Plus InHome, I don’t have to pay a tip. That’s because I pay an extra annual fee for the InHome service compared to standard Walmart Plus. It makes my shopping and calculations easier.

    I also don’t like how Amazon Fresh inputs a default tip amount of $5. That’s 20% for a $25 order or 5% for a $100 order. Does that make any sense?!

    I do like that you can edit the tip for up to 24 hours after the order has been delivered. 

    Items Are Out of Stock

    Amazon Fresh items are constantly playing musical chairs. They’re in stock, out of stock, and in stock again. It makes it hard to plan ahead. Sometimes I place an order even though one or more of the items I wanted aren’t in stock. 

    Sometimes they’ll come back into stock at great prices, and I’ll feel pressured to place an order quickly before they go out of stock, but I don’t need $25 worth of items. It’s a theme I’ve also noticed when physically shopping in Amazon Fresh stores; it’s rare that I come away with every item on my list, even when my list only includes items in the weekly sales flyer. 

    Bottom Line: Love It, But Won’t Renew

    I have been enjoying the Amazon Fresh delivery service. I’ve been getting items like watermelon that are otherwise difficult for me to bring home. Many foods have been inexpensive. And, it’s been easier for me to purchase frozen items.

    Thankfully, I’m in a position where I don’t have to renew the service (and pay for it). I am lucky enough to get what I need from Walmart and stores within walking distance – including Amazon Fresh! We have one less than a mile from our home. 

    Interestingly, it seems as though Amazon is increasing the selection of groceries, including some produce and frozen goods, that it makes available through its “same day delivery” service for orders over $25. I am excited to see how that plays out. 

    How do you do your grocery shopping? Where do you shop? Do you drive, walk, or use delivery services? Which stores do you shop? 

  • Top Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Vegetables

    Do your children eat enough vegetables? Most kids don’t even come close. The USDA says only half of children eat a vegetable on a given day. In comparison, the Dietary Guidelines suggest at least 1 ½-2 ½ cup of vegetables per day for children ages 4-8 years.

    The shortfall is even more shocking when you realize that half of these vegetables are potatoes, often as French fries or potato chips.

    Still, it’s possible to get children to eat vegetables. With some trial and a lot of error, I’ve found a few approaches that work for our family. Here are 9 strategies I use to make sure my child gets his vegetables (almost) every day.

    1. Model Prioritizing Vegetables

    What you do may have more influence on your children than what you.say or what anyone else says or tells them. If you eat your vegetables on a daily basis, chances are that they will, too. They may develop this healthy habit later rather than sooner, but they learn from what they see in the home and when they’re out with you.

    Are they learning…

    • That vegetables are on the plate at most meals, or that vegetables are an afterthought for some days, sometimes?
    • That a well-stocked fridge, freezer, and counter have vegetables, or that if vegetables run out, it’s okay to wait until the next big trip to the supermarket?
    • That you look for vegetables when you eat out, or that vegetables are only for boring occasions at home?
    • That vegetables are delicious and fun, or that they’re a chore to eat?

    Think about your meals and your home, and what they are telling your children about vegetables.

    2. Let Them Have Preferences 

    Ask, and they’ll tell you. My son is very clear about what he wants. I let him choose his vegetables from some options that I offer. It’s rare that I go against him. He’s happy because he chose something he likes, and I’m happy because he’ll eat his vegetables. Some kids love raw, colorful vegetables. My son only eats cooked ones except for tomatoes. 

    Some kids love colorful foods, so try everything!

    Another benefit of offering choices is that when kids get to choose, they can take ownership. It happens with clothes they choose, room decorations, and many other areas of their lives. It seems to translate to food, too.

    3. Serve Small Portions

    I used to try to get him to eat more vegetables by serving large portions. It would always be vegetables that he likes, whether eggplant, broccoli, or green beans. And he wouldn’t eat a bite. 

    It took me some time to realize that smaller portions worked better. Maybe the large amounts were so daunting that he was afraid to even try. Now, I serve smaller, doable amounts, and offer second helpings. I can also increase the amount he gets by serving small portions of two different vegetables rather than trying to get him to eat one large portion of one type of vegetable. 

    4. Have a Backup Plan

    Occasionally, for various reasons, afternoon comes and vegetables don’t seem to have made it into the day. It’s helpful to have a convenient backup for those situations. Thankfully, my son loves tomatoes in any form, whether raw, cooked, in tomato sauce, or in vegetable juice. He’ll drink an 11-oz can of vegetable juice if I ask him to. That takes care of 2-3 servings of vegetables without fuss.

    A can of vegetable juice is my secret weapon for days when vegetables have been scarce.

    5. Don’t Make an Issue

    Fighting over food is rarely the best answer. It’s more pleasant to let things happen naturally. If possible, you can pave the way for the “natural” course of things to include vegetables. 

    A bowl of grape tomatoes can disappear quickly, adding fiber and vitamin C to a child’s day!

    For example, when my son comes home from school in the afternoon, he’s probably hungry. I might strategically place a container of grape tomatoes (and a napkin) where he is sitting doing his homework. Usually the contents disappear by the time I come back. For your children, it might be a bowl of carrots with ketchup, some whole-grain crackers with tomato sauce, or cucumbers with yogurt or dip, depending on what your child likes.

    6. But Do Be Firm

    Sometimes, I have to be direct. This might happen when we’re planning to eat with others. For example, if we’re ordering a pizza for our weekly family lunch with my parents, I may tell my son that he’ll have vegetables with his pizza. In that case, I try to let him choose the vegetable, whether it’s a roma tomato, grape tomatoes, cooked carrots, sugar snap peas, or Brussels sprouts.  Once expectations are set, he’s likely to eat his vegetable serving before asking for more pizza. 

    7. Avoid Embarrassment

    I’m a fan of letting people feel comfortable around food and their food choices. If my son is going to a party later where the options are sure to be nutrition-less, I may add extra vegetables to his previous meal or snack. There’s no need to make him feel self-conscious by making him be the only one to eat vegetables at an event, and there’s no need to make him feel guilty if he doesn’t eat well at the event. 

    8. Be Sneaky If Necessary 

    There are all kinds of kid-friendly ways to increase vegetable consumption. Use them when all else fails, or take advantage of them on a daily basis.

    Who knew that pizza could be a tool for getting kids to eat vegetables? Add extra sauce, cooked eggplant with parmesan, and sun-dried tomatoes for a vegetable-packed treat.

    Here are some ideas for adding vegetables to meals in palatable and sometimes sneaky ways.

    • Add diced onions to eggs.
    • Serve extra tomato sauce on pasta, and add cooked tomatoes or other cooked vegetables.
    • Dice broccoli or cauliflower, cook it, and add it to macaroni and cheese.
    • Blend eggplant, grated zucchini, or grated carrots into meatballs and meatloaf.
    • Make vegetable soup with chicken and barley, whole-grain spaghetti, or brown rice.

    9. Normalize Vegetables Outside the Home

    Healthy eating is always, not just at home! Eating out offers opportunities to try new vegetables cooked in different ways. Consider these vegetable-heavy dishes from various cuisines. 

    Use restaurant food to get your kids to love vegetables!
    • Chinese beef or chicken with broccoli
    • Chinese beef, tofu, or chicken stir fry with vegetables
    • Mexican chicken or shrimp fajitas with onions and peppers
    • Italian eggplant parmesan – let them learn to love eggplant at the restaurant, then make healthier versions at home!
    • Mexican vegetarian burritos with grilled squash, peppers, and onions

    By the way, these tips can also work for adults who may be short on vegetables. Might that include you? 

    I hope some of these ideas help you add vegetables to your children’s lives, and hopefully reduce tension around begging them to eat a vegetable. 

    What are your best tips for getting children to eat their vegetables? What are your biggest fails? Comment below!

  • Accept What Children Say About Their Hunger

    There are times when my son says he’s hungry, and it doesn’t seem possible. This might happen after he’s already eaten a lot that day or at that meal. It also tends to happen when he knows there’s a treat around, such as if we’re at an event where food is sold or provided.

    Keep reading to find out how I respond to it. As with everything else in parenting and most things in life, I never know if I’m approaching it in the best way. Please post your suggestions and ideas in the comments!

    Avoiding Conflict for Health’s Sake

    My first thought is that he can’t possibly be hungry. My instinct is to say so, and explain why I believe that he’s not really hungry. I suppress my instinct because I don’t think it’s the right answer to directly disagree with him. 

    If I tell him he’s not hungry, I’m:

    • Telling him that I don’t believe him. That’s not how I want our relationship to work; I want him to know that I’m here for him for anything.
    • Suggesting that he shouldn’t listen to what his body is telling him. That’s an unhealthy route, since listening carefully to your body, and responding appropriately, can lead to better lifestyle choices and health. 

    I try not to disagree with him. Instead, I try to figure out why he says he’s hungry, and address it appropriately. Here are some patterns that I’ve detected, and how I respond to each. 

    Hungry for Nutrients

    I start by assuming that it’s as simple as it appears: that my son is hungry. For some reason, there are days when he just needs more food. Maybe it’s a growth spurt. Maybe he’s been active. Maybe he hadn’t eaten enough in the past few days. 

    To see if that’s the case, I offer him healthy foods. They’re foods he likes, but not as much as something like shaved ice or cupcakes. Tomatoes, a tangerine or orange, or a low-fat string cheese stick are likely options. 

    Grape tomatoes can be a perfect stall tactic and way to satisfy hunger.

    A Craving Triggered By Availability

    Environmental triggers can cause cravings, perceived hunger, and snack attacks in kids just like in adults. My son tends to “be hungry” when he wants a bag of chips at a birthday party or notices an ice cream truck at the park.

    How could a child not feel “hungry” when they’re at a party and see cupcakes like these?

    I’m generally good at identifying these triggers, but managing them is another story. I tend to say yes at birthday parties or other events where his friends are eating those foods. The goal is to prevent him from feeling different from his friends or feeling deprived. I also want him to know that those foods are available to him; he doesn’t have to sneak them and not tell me. 

    At other times, it depends on the situation. If he’s had a lot of junk recently and it seems like overkill, the answer is no. Sometimes the “no” will come with a “maybe next time” or, “let’s buy something similar at a store.” That’s a common one for ice cream truck fare; I’d rather pay $3 for a box of frozen novelties than $4 for one serving.

    If it seems reasonable, it can be his daily serving of junk food, which he mostly gets to choose. Sometimes he offers to pay for it; in those cases, I usually say yes. That gives him control over his money and decisions, and avoids a tantrum (are you seeing a pattern here?).

    Ice cream bars from a truck can be more fun, but are they always worth it?

    Maybe He’s Just Trying His Luck…

    Sometimes, it seems like he just needs something to do, wants attention, or is just curious about what he can get away with. It often seems as though he wants me to say no just so that he can fight it or feel comfortable knowing that there are rules.

    It can be impossible to say no to a cute child!

    So, the first response is an offer of a healthy snack and water. Then I try to distract his attention. If I don’t have much time, such as while I am working and can’t give him my full attention, I try to satisfy him with a snack, say, a bowl of watermelon or a container of grape tomatoes. He’s also easily amused by pouring beverages over ice cubes. Thankfully, he often manages to get involved in an activity by the time he’s done eating or playing with his food or drink.

    Water Can Never Hurt

    I also offer him water. Adults often mistake thirst for hunger, so children might, too. Even if not, it can’t be a bad habit to drink water throughout the day. So, I try to offer water routinely in response to unexpected hunger. 

    What If Kids Aren’t Hungry?

    I’ve seen parents pressure their children to eat when they say they’re not hungry. Parents often seem to be terrified that their children don’t eat enough, but in most cases, it doesn’t seem healthy to me to force children to eat. 

    I worry about these effects. 

    • The child ends up with junk food in that moment because the parent has decided that they need to eat anything to avoid starving.
    • The child learns that their parents are so desperate for them to eat, that they can hold out for junk food all the time. 
    • As with telling a child that he’s not hungry even if he says is, arguing that they’re hungry when they say they’re not encourages them to ignore their body’s signals. 
    • Similarly, arguing with them plants the seed that you don’t believe them.

    Very few children in the US are at risk of starvation. If you believe your child is, it’s critical that you take them to a qualified healthcare provider for evaluation and treatment. 

    Here are some tips for parents who are convinced their children are in need of food when they say they’re not hungry. 

    • Have set meal times. That way, you can eat with them and encourage them to eat. Sitting at the table also reduces the chances of kids being distracted and playing games. 
    • Keep the food healthy. Serve healthy food, and eat healthy food yourself. That makes healthy food something normal rather than a punishment or chore. 
    • Don’t start a food fight. It’s as bad to fight over forcing them to eat than over stopping them from eating treats. 
    • Consider asking a healthcare provider about any deficiencies. Often, a daily multivitamin and mineral supplement can calm a parent’s nerves. 
    • If it makes you feel better, consider offering a protein shake or meal replacement shake that’s fortified with nutrients and has fiber. A glass of milk does well, too, for protein and calcium. 

    Hunger management is tough for everyone. Kids usually have a better handle on their hunger than adults, but they can have trouble expressing themselves. With their dear parents, they can also be manipulative or have underlying goals. 

    How do you respond to, “I’m hungry,” when you’re not sure if it’s true?

  • What’s the Right Answer When Parenting? I Never Know Until It’s Too Late

    Every child is an experiment of one. You’d think that would at least mean that after weeks and months and years, you’d get to know your child. You’d think wrong, at least in my case. 

    It seems as though I’m slow on the learn-to-parent spectrum. Every situation feels like a toss-up to me. 

    Take July 4, for example. In a previous post, I explained that my son and I had a lovely time at the July 4 block party and potluck in our neighborhood. Now I’ll explain why I bought my son a doughnut before a potluck, why I made the decision, and whether it was the right one. 

    Spoiler alert: Probably not.

    Setting the Scene

    For days, my son and I had been fighting. Actually, it had been months, but it was more intense that week. It’s not unusual; I think he’s so well-behaved at school and with other people that he needs to balance it with some meltdowns in a comfortable setting. Since I’m his only parent, I get the full force of his anger.

    That morning, there was a July 4 event at the local park. It’s casual, and includes watermelon, doughnuts, and corn dogs from the local Homeowners Association. Community police also come and let kids climb into their cars.

    After a rough week, I didn’t have it in me to force my son to get ready to go. I have that battle with him every morning to get out the door, and every evening to get ready for bed. I didn’t want to force him to get ready for a party, so I told him to let me know when he was ready to go.

    The Party Was Over

    We left our home at 12:30 p.m. Needless to say, the park was all but deserted. We probably missed the end of the event by over an hour. 

    My son started saying that he’s a failure and can’t get anywhere on time. When he thinks he’s failed, my son tends to build himself into a state. Failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn’t face another few hours of unpleasant behavior if I didn’t have to, so I did what any responsible parent would do: I offered to buy him a doughnut.

    Rising to the Occasion?

    I wasn’t worried about teaching my son that tantrums lead to doughnuts. He’s a great kid to everyone else, so I know that he’s going to turn out fine. Since I wasn’t worried about long-term repercussions, and I’d already had in my head that he was going to eat a doughnut that morning, so nutrition wasn’t a top concern, I became selfish at that moment. The offer of the doughnut was a Hail Mary, hoping it would buy me some nice moments. 

    I told him that it was fine that he missed the party, and he was happy doing whatever he’d been doing in our home instead of going to the party. I told him that if he needed that time to relax instead of going to the park, it was good he’d taken it. And, I told him that we could go get a red, white, and blue star-sprinkled doughnut. 

    Got What I Wanted

    Shockingly, it worked. He instantly smiled, got excited, and offered to pay for the doughnut. We discussed the possibilities en route to the doughnut shop, and planned when and where we were going to eat it. He even said he was going to buy it for me!

    As a bonus, going to get a doughnut meant we had to walk to the doughnut shop. That meant I got to take a longer walk than if we had just gone to the park and back. 

    The victory continued after we got home with the doughnut. My son got out a tray to serve it on, a knife, and two forks. He offered drinks, and we sat and ate the doughnut together. It was exactly what I wanted after a tough week. 

    Benefits of Healthy Food

    I’m a nutritionist. I believe in healthy eating. Compared to less healthy choices, I know that more nutritious and portion-controlled choices can:

    • Improve mood
    • Maintain energy and blood sugar
    • Reduce hunger
    • Increase ability to focus and think

    And that’s within a few minutes! Long-term, healthy eating helps with: 

    • Weight control
    • Chronic disease prevention and management
    • Reduction of stress and stress hormones
    • Promotion of strong bones and muscles
    • Nourish you

    Junk food does the opposite. 

    When Junk Food Can Be the Answer

    Knowing that healthy food has so many benefits, why would junk food ever be the “right” choice? For most of us, there’s a place for fried foods, fatty foods, sugary foods, and starchy foods. It’s not a place we should visit often, but there are times when the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks. 

    In this case, the doughnut wasn’t for physical nourishment. Neither my son nor I needed a ring of fried refined doughy carbs topped with sugary frosting. What I did need was some pleasant time together. The doughnut let me buy some beautiful time with my son, and even allowed him the chance to feel good about himself by serving us the doughnut when we got home. 

    There’s also the warning that it’s only okay to eat foods that your body can handle. If you have a chronic condition that prohibits certain foods, for example, or if your doctor tells you to avoid certain items, then stay within these restrictions!

    Set Up for Success

    My son and I both do better when we feel good about ourselves. We both do worse when we feel bad. As it turned out on July 4, he rose to the occasion and seized an opportunity to feel good about himself. He clearly felt good about being kind to me, taking charge of serving the doughnut, and acting pleasant while we ate. 

    What would you have done? Are there times when a bribe is okay? When is junk food an acceptable option compared to nutritious items?