Winter break is starting – and somehow, the thought of schools being closed for three weeks isn’t as exciting for me as a parent as it was for me as a kid. There is still a lot to be excited about, such as the end of Hanukkah and extra time with a kid who isn’t burdened with homework, spelling tests, and maximizing his Friday Free Time in third grade.
But many parents may agree with me that a break from school leads to personal challenges. It can be hard to juggle parenting, working, health, and, often, expectations around holidays. At the same time, this is theoretically the time of year we’re supposed to recharge for the year to come.
I don’t have a solution for getting all my work done, entertaining my child while keeping him from watching a screen, staying active, attending all holiday events, and starting the new year feeling rested. If that’s your idea of a successful winter break, I don’t know how to get you there. But if you’re like me in setting more realistic goals for a successful break, keep reading for strategies.
Double Duty on Winter Break
As a single working parent, I am facing three weeks of working while my son is home from school. For me, that translates to 11 working days and 4 vacation days (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day). That leaves 11 work days for me to parent an active boy in the home while meeting work deadlines.
The idea of spending more time with my son is nice. He’ll be more relaxed without feeling pressure that he puts on himself when school’s in session to behave well, follow directions, study hard, and do his best. He’ll love extra time with his grandparents (my parents). These will hopefully translate into more pleasant time with me – and he is wonderful company when he’s in a good mood!
But it’s tricky getting work done when he’s around. The only way I’ve found to concentrate on work when he’s at home is to let him watch a device. It’s not healthy for his body or mind, and it makes me feel guilty. So, it’s time to juggle.
- Which work-related tasks can I complete while talking to him – that is, which tasks don’t require full attention?
- Which tasks can I squeeze in if we go to the park and I can get him to play for a few minutes by himself – for example, is there anything I can work on using my phone, and can I do any thinking while we’re walking to the park so that if I have a few minutes to work while at the park, I can type furiously?
- What tricks can I come up with to have him do some sort of task on his own before he starts watching YouTube?
It’s tough – but thankfully, there are fewer meetings at work, so I can mostly focus on doing essential tasks.
Keeping Kids Happy: Benefits and Compromises
The obvious benefit of schools being closed is getting to spend more time with my son. There are sides of my son and parts of his day that I don’t usually get to see. I get to see his more relaxed self that’s not thinking about homework or who gets to be up first in kickball or whether he’ll get to have two pieces of pizza instead of just one at lunch. I love his excitement for things like upcoming holidays and extra time with my parents.
On the flip side, there’s more time to fill. It’s harder to keep him away from a screen, especially if I don’t feel like spending all day, every day focused on him – or if I simply can’t because of work or other priorities.
One of my main strategies for keeping my son content, getting my essential work done, and staying a little bit sane are to define the time periods. Here are some examples.
- Quality time together: If we’re dedicating time to each other, I make sure we’re doing something that involves interaction or focus. For example, we can play cards together, play catch or another sport, or do an art project.
- Relaxed time at home. We may be in the same room, but I’ve let him know that he can enjoy his free time and activities, and I will be doing mine. We may talk periodically.
- “Alone” time. There may be times when I need to concentrate, such as if I am writing a piece or doing calculations. I ask my son to wait for a few minutes before talking to me. I try not to do this too much when he’s home, but sometimes it’s necessary.
Holidays with Kids: “Good Enough” Is Probably “Great”
Kids love special occasions. They bring their own joy, excitement, and ideas. While you may have an image of a “perfect” holiday, keep in mind that whatever happens on the holiday will probably be great in their eyes.
Here are a few ways to support holidays that are easier on parents and magical for kids. Keep in mind that all children and families are different, so adopt these tips to fit your own situation.
- Involve them in holiday prep, from decorating your home’s interior and exterior, to wrapping gifts, to mixing batter for cookies. If their “help” slows you down too much, give them tasks that are separate from yours, like placing spoonfuls of batter on a baking pan while you mix the batter for the next batch of cookies.
- Let them lead, even if they do it differently than you would have done it. For example, let them create a holiday playlist that has very little to do with the holiday you’re celebrating, choose a gift that you wouldn’t have chosen for that person, or distribute Valentine’s Day napkins at a Christmas dinner. They’re participating and feeling included and loved, and that’s what’s important.
- Give your children jobs. They may be the event photographer, DJ, escort for guests, set-up crew, or all of those. Kids tend to rise to the challenge, especially if they get to tell guests how important their jobs are.
As much as possible, be a good role model. Be happy and accepting. Express gratitude and excitement when you receive a gift. Show how much fun you have when you select the perfect gift to give. Above all, make it clear that you are pleased with the holiday, and thankful to be with your family.
Resting Up for the New Year
How can you rest with work, parenting, and holidays happening all at once? It’s important to give yourself a mental break. Cut yourself slack on things like rigid schedules, perfectly balanced homemade meals, and screen time for your kids. If they skip a chore, let it go. Arguing with them may take more effort than it’s worth. Simply telling yourself that it’s okay to loosen up for a couple of weeks can make a huge difference in the amount of stress you feel.
For some physical rest, delay or skip non-essential tasks. Clean the house less often, let holiday decorations stay up for a few extra days or weeks (except for a potentially dangerous dried-out Christmas tree, which can be a fire hazard). Wear casual clothes instead of dressing up, and limit your planned commitments. Cutting a few corners here and there can add up to a well-deserved break.
Holidays can be both magical and difficult for parents, but you can take steps to get what you need while your children are out of school. Set your priorities, do only what’s necessary to accomplish the bare minimum, and maintain a positive attitude. You can start the new year feeling closer to your kids, refreshed, and on top of things at work.
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