It may seem like the back-to-school transition after the holidays is over, but any parent knows that the work of parenting never ends. It’s normal for kids to resist morning routines, for homework to feel burdensome, for kids to say they’re bored, and for bedtime to seem like a struggle. On top of it, parents can be exhausted!
Don’t worry. There are simple hacks for making things smoother during the winter months. If you haven’t already, you can incorporate healthy actions back into the schedule. And, you can break up the day-to-day monotony with fun that doesn’t leave you even more exhausted. It’s all about listening to your kids and framing things in a way that gets through. Here are some tricks to shifting from surviving to thriving this winter.
A Post-Holiday “Letdown” Is Normal
After weeks of excitement and special events over the holidays, they’re now in the distant past. This can be hard for parents, who may have hoped for a break but never got the rest they wanted.
It can also be hard for kids. It’s hard to transition from November and December, when there may always be a wonderful new adventure to look forward to, to late January. School may feel endless; spring break is far off, and there’s nothing to break the daily routine of school.
Acknowledge your and your kids’ feelings. They’re valid! Let them know that you understand that it’s hard when special times end, and school comes back.
In my family, the end of January feels especially final when it comes to holidays. We not only have the typical winter break over late December and early January. Three of us also have January birthdays. Plus, my parents leave for another country after the third birthday. For these reasons, our family’s transition to late January routine is especially dramatic.
Here are some things my son and I talk about.
- What a wonderful job he did decorating and planning for holiday and birthday parties for the family
- What he’s been enjoying doing when he hangs out with his friends after school
Shift Focus to Smaller Bits of Fun
You don’t have to accept that the next few months will be boring. Consider coming up with ways to have fun on a smaller scale. What makes them really special is that they may be things you didn’t have time to do over the holidays.
Here are some low-key ways to have fun that my son looks forward to at this time of year.
- Getting to video chat on weekends with his grandparents
- Making plans with his amazing, wonderful, and unbelievable babysitter, who only works for us when my parents are out of town
- Planning for him to sleep over at his grandparents’ house when they return
- Doing different weekend outings with me that require a car – since we borrow my parents’ car, we don’t go far from home or off a bus route when they’re in town. I don’t like to ask
- Fun events coming up at school, like a music festival showcasing his classmates in March
- Going to the library, which has wonderful magnet tiles and other toys, but was closed over winter break
These simple events can be joyful. Though they fit into the daily routine, they feel like they break it up.
Fit in Healthy Habits Now!
Remember those healthy habits you wanted to start this year? Daily routines are likely to be as predictable and consistent now as at any other time during the year. Your chance to build healthy meals and snacks, regular family activity, and a healthy sleep routine into daily life may be now!
Small steps can make a big difference. Here are some examples.
- Shift portions to increase vegetable intake. If kids aren’t eating their vegetables, consider serving smaller amounts of other foods so they’re not full before they get to their vegetables. You can also serve smaller portions of vegetables to avoid overwhelming kids.
- Make physical activity routine. Enjoy nature walks. Walk to the library or post office. Take a walk while your kids bike or scooter along.
- Establish a bedtime routine. You may already do this. If not, make a consistent set of activities you do with your kids before bedtime. Brushing teeth, taking a bath, and reading a story are common ones. You might sing a song or tell a few nursery rhymes together. Make sure to have your own grown-up version of a bedtime routine. It might include brushing teeth, spending time with your significant other (if you have one), packing tomorrow’s lunches, and making a to-do list for the next day.
What may be the biggest difference for me and my son between the holiday season and routine days of winter is sugar consumption. Christmas candy, irresistible chocolate coins, and birthday cakes contribute added sugars. Furthermore, my son gets a lot of juice and apple cider when my parents are home. They don’t have added sugars, but they do have a lot of sugar. Now we’re back to one reasonable portion of one sugar-sweetened treat a day at home.
Look for Information, Listen, and Adjust
If your routine isn’t working, troubleshoot to figure out why not. If kids are cranky or resistant, there’s probably a reason. It’s possible they’re just being difficult, but it’s also possible there’s an underlying barrier, such as fatigue or anxiety. Either way, simple changes can often make a difference.
Here are some common reasons why a routine isn’t working, and possible fixes.
| What Might Be Going On | What Can Help |
|---|---|
| Kids are tired | An earlier bedtime can help kids get more total sleep. A consistent bedtime—even on weekends—can prevent starting the school week already short on sleep. |
| Kids are overstimulated | Allow 20–30 minutes after school for kids to decompress by amusing themselves however they want (within household rules). Let them know you’re available when they’re ready. Check their schedule to be sure they have at least 30–60 minutes of true downtime each day—unstructured time not dedicated to homework or extracurricular activities. |
| Kids want to exert control | Offer choices: “Homework before or after snack?” “Do you want a 5-minute warning or a song timer?” “Do you want to start with reading or math?” Shift from time-based rules to task-based routines. Instead of “It’s 6:30, do your homework,” try “After homework, it’s free time.” |
Turn the dark days of winter into a bright spot with small changes in how you approach your kids and manage schedules. Plus, you can incorporate healthy choices in your family’s daily routine to take advantage of the predictable days that often come in mid-winter.
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